Jealousy problems. Help? Urgentttttt!?

[taydeee]

My boyfriend and I have hit a few speed bumps in our relationship. So much has happened and I will admit, I haven't been the greatest girlfriend on earth. In fact, I've been the worst girlfriend. I have never cheated on him, but he always accuses me of it because when we've broken up I've said some stuff like "I'm moving on with someone else" or something like that. He's done the same too, but not as much. He always says "I'm not cheating on you. If you treated any other guy like this, they would cheat" and he's also said "I wish that I was talking to other girls so when we break up I could be like to you, well yeah I'm moving on too" He hides the fact that we're in a relationship on facebook, although that isn't SUPER important. As I said, he's lied to me in the past so I don't have trust for him, however I'm giving him the chance to earn my trust back. But I cannot help but feel he is cheating on me with someone else. He talks to other girls, I'm not sure if he flirts with them or not, but yeah. He speaks to them nicer, ahah. I've always got the feeling that there is someone else and because of that it's taken a toll on our relationship. I don't know what to do anymore. He accuses me of cheating all the time, but he said that's only because of what I've said about other guys - that may be true but I've also heard that if someone accuses you of cheating, they're cheating themselves. I need opinions. How can I trust him? How can I let go of this and all my issues? Any opinions will do, I don't care how hurtful or whatever they are!
I'm scared he's going to cheat on me because of how I've been acting. I'm slowly changing though, and so is he. But I'm scared it's too late.

[unknown]

You have never cheated on your boyfriend? I am just making sure because you seem very suspicious of him cheating, and like you said, if somebody accuses you of cheating they are cheating themselves. The sad reality of relationships is you HAVE to trust your partner until they are proven guilty. You have to listen to everything they say. Now I am not saying try and find out the truth, I am just saying that you have no reason not to trust him unless you prove that he is doing something wrong.

[me]

ask him. Maybe they are friends only. I don't see why he would lie to you.

I have also jealousy problem, but I don't do "revenge stuff". If the girl tells me that she is in a relationship with someone else in my face , then I'd disconnect myself little by little. However, if another girl will earn me or not will depend on destiny and luck. No revenge , No anger , maybe feeling a bit sad and lonely.

I'd sit down with nature with some music to sooth the pain.

Real power is to forgive one another and not to give up. In my opinion, as long as no cheating took place, none of the two should cheat or no need for anyone to go with someone else, instead, let them communicate together and understand what made one of them angry. As you see, you're assuming he is cheating and acted upon it without real evidence "as you are saying in your question". I'd suggest that you try to fix things up with him, I don't think he is the player type, and I think he'd feel really happy if you get back to him and make him forget what happpened by doing stuff he likes and making him feel love.

You need to talk together to understand each others. After that all will be ok

[normzz]

Jealousy could be both a good and bad thing in a relationship. But if it's something that's been bothering you to the extent of disrupting the peace and harmony in your relationship, then there's probably something more to it.

As you've said, there's already an issue of trust between you two as he had lied previously. First of all, how did you resolve this problem before? Did any of you made some compromise or promise? Secondly, what is this deal with his facebook anyway? We all know that this is an age where almost everybody uses this social media as part of their lives, so how could he not spill to his world there that he's happily committed and in a relationship with you?? And lastly, why is it that threats and doubts about 'who's cheating with whom' and 'moving on with another' always comes up when you two get into fights--- aren't you supposed to just be reassuring about being faithful and loving only of one another? Is he willing to do some compromise (especially changing his "flirty" or "nice" demeanor towards other girls) for your peace as you are willing to be more trusting with him?? It's all up to both of you..

The thing is, if this relationship is not inspiring positivity anymore then there's a bigger issue there...is it still healthy to stay with each other ? Are you still in love and working on this relationship because of love..or are you just holding on for security or so?? Are you still happy with him and vice versa??

You need to talk seriously with your boyfriend and try to think of a resolution to your issues (and his')... otherwise you'd be eaten badly by jealousy..

Good luck!