Moving on: How soon is too soon after a suicide in the family?

[bkarikan]

My brother is currently in a coma with a very low likelihood to any kind of recovery after a suicide attempt.

I haven't been able to think of anything except guilt for not doing enough from my brother or blaming myself for ignoring him when he needed the most help. I haven't been able to do much of anything except finding new doctors, techniques, information that could help him. I know rational that with time I'll accept what's happened and that I can't solely blame myself for what he did, but right now I can't think of anything else but trying to help him.

A week has passed and I find the rest of my family is mindlessly at home watching television, playing games, updating facebook statuses, and my sister has recently told us that she just got engaged. Even at the hospital they just go to see him and then sit in the reception area while I talk to doctors/nurses/administrators to get options for my brother.

I'm really not sure if my feelings of disgust and disappointment with my family's lack of mourning are valid or due to an misguided/angry lashing out. Which is why I'm asking an unbiased opinion from this community.

Am I just taking too long to accept what's happened?

Are they moving on too soon?

Do people just react to something like this in different ways or is this an example of our passive/mindless modern culture?

Thank you for any answers.

[Adam]

I think what's happening here is that your family is dealing with this by not dealing with it they hope maybe if they pretend everything's fine the problem will go away and they are probably mourning when no one is watching them or they could be holding it in which isn't good

[Newman Daniels]

In this situation, you can't move fast enough. I once was suicidal. I truly had shit for a life, and the only thing that stopped me from putting myself out of my misery was thinking about how hard it would be on my family.

Anyone who kills themselves does it because of THEIR problems. They don't want their choice to affect family or friends.

[ceeli]

if i were you i'd find out from the doctors if he's in a persistent vegetative state. if so, then pull the plug, donate his organs and have a proper funeral. it's hard on families to have something like this drag on and on for years.

[marianne]

I'm so sorry, I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

I think that you family feel just as devastated and guilty as you do. Everyone has different ways of expressing their emotions, and they are probably just the kind of people that try to push bad experiences away instead of facing and accepting what happened.

I understand that you feel like your family is being inconsiderate but some people find it hard to talk about their problems and like to keep things to themselves.

Anyway, when you go visit your brother, talk to him. Tell him that you love him and that he has to stay strong. Talk about fond memories, play him some music. It hasn't been proven that all people in comas can hear, especially a deep one, but it definitely can't hurt and you never know for sure.

Stay positive, I'll be praying for your brother