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Eric White · 03-25-2013, 10:12 PM

Ok, my husband and I have been raising his cousin's baby girl since she was 6 months old, the baby is now 2. The mother is now in prison on drug related charges, theft and forgery, she got a 2 year sentence; she also has 3 other kids; 2 of them are now with the father, and the other one was adopted out as soon as he was born. The father of the baby hasn't seen her since she was about 4 or 5 months old, he also has a criminal background; he has charges for theft, criminal damage, possession of criminal tools and use of criminal tools. The father's live in fiance has 3 kids who got taken away from their home due to her child endangerment. Also I would like to add that the father has MRSA and you can tell by looking at him that he doesn't take care of himself what so ever. He has never had a driver license and does not have a car, neither does his so called fiance. Ok, well in July I finally just went and filed for full custody. In August for the inital custody hearing the father of the child acted like he didnt know if he was the father, so the magistrate order a DNA test to be done and awarded me with temp custody. So then went back in October and proved the mother completely unfit and proved the father unsuitable. So yet again I got awarded temp custody, he was ordered to pay me child support and cash medical support, and he gets supervised visitation every Sunday for 2 hours. The visitatio was supposed to start the following Sunday but he told the magistrate that he had to go serve 10 days in jail some time that month so then the visitation was to start the first Sunday in November. I check the county site every day in October and he never went to serve any time! So the first visit he showed up and he was very pushy with the child and I. Also kept asking the 2 year old and I the same question over and over again to see if the answer would change. In my mind that is kinda manipulative. He really made the child and I very uncomfortable. I know you might say how can you tell if the child was uncomfortable, well here's the answer; she was very fussy, had an attitude like non other, after the visitation, when we got home she threw her toy as soon as I got her out of the car. Then, for a few nights after that she woke up screaming at any given time through the night. The second visit he didn't show, this past Sunday (would have been third visit) I canceled due to the child having a stomach virus. Ok, now to get to point of my question, he emailed me on facebook asking me what I thought was best for the child. And asked if my husband and I wanted to keep raising her as our own. The stated that he's got A LOT on his plate. To me it seems like he is willing to sign over rights to her. Especially after messaging back and forth he agreed with how I felt on the situation and said that I have done the right thing by the child and he can tell I take very good care of her, and the stated he just wanted the child to be happy, healthy, safe and with a good family. My question is can I use these messages in court to get his rights taken away when we go back to court in January? Do you think the magistrate will look at what he said to me the same way that I do? I live in Ohio
I would also like to add that my husband and I have bee together for 11 years, 6 of those years we have been happily married. We have 2 children together and he has a 12 year old from a relationship before me. My children and step child love this baby and know her as their sister.
I would also like to add that my husband and I have bee together for 11 years, 6 of those years we have been happily married. We have 2 children together and he has a 12 year old from a relationship before me. My children and step child love this baby and know her as their sister.
To Natalia, we have been happy our whole relationship!! In 11 years we've never been apart for more than 2 days!!!! So please keep your rudeness to yourself. I know I have done a good thing here by taking in a child that needed a home and a family because her mother and father couldn't give her that!
To Natalia, we have been happy our whole relationship!! In 11 years we've never been apart for more than 2 days!!!! So please keep your rudeness to yourself. I know I have done a good thing here by taking in a child that needed a home and a family because her mother and father couldn't give her that!
To Natalia, we have been happy our whole relationship!! In 11 years we've never been apart for more than 2 days!!!! So please keep your rudeness to yourself. I know I have done a good thing here by taking in a child that needed a home and a family because her mother and father couldn't give her that!
To Natalia, we have been happy our whole relationship!! In 11 years we've never been apart for more than 2 days!!!! So please keep your rudeness to yourself. I know I have done a good thing here by taking in a child that needed a home and a family because her mother and father couldn't give her that!

secret_asian_man · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

Facebook has been used once or twice in court. But in terms of time and place. I believe the case I'm thinking of involved an alibi where a "John is at McDonalds right now!, 3:14pm, oct 3rd" type of post helped him win his case.

Your messages don't mean anything in any way. They are the legal equivalent of "so I says to Martha I says." It was a private conversation, period. What conclusions you drew from it are irrelevant. If you want to win custody there are much more powerful weapons in his past and current conditions that any half-assed, drunken, right out of college, Paralegal's secretary will glom onto immediately.

What will happen will happen, at least on paper, in the best interest of the child; although court doesn't always work like that. Don't spend your days trying to find guilt in every move he makes, you'll make yourself sick.

Cuddlez93 · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

It really depends, If he was to say yes that was me sending that then they would use it but if he was to say no i didnt write that then they could refuse it. Theres no way to prove it was him as anyone can go onto his account and use it. Hope it all works out though, you seem like great parents for these kids and wonderful people. Best wishes X

Caleb · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

call the csea

SAHMOnTheGo · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

Media such as emails, texts and Facebook messages can be admitted as evidence under some circumstances.

It would generally be if threats were being made, etc. though- not what you indicate has been said. In other words, you will be unable to use those messages to win custody.

Instead, keep an open dialogue with him- it sounds as if he is willing to sign over rights anyway.

Natalia · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

so for almost half your relationship with your husband you have been unhappy?...somethign does not add up

Pacey · 03-25-2013, 10:20 PM

His parental rights can't be taken away just because of a conversation BUT you can go about it straight forward and ask him if he would be willing to do that for y'all. also mention to him if he does, there would be no child support anymore. Usually that does the trick. Sadly, of course. Good luck.