Should I end my relationship?

[Confused Girl]

I'm looking for an unbiased opinion on my relationship so I've come here in hope that you can help me. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now, and whilst I love him, I'm not sure the relationship is working anymore. He has always been really insecure and is constantly putting himself down saying I'm out of his league and that I'm going to go and meet someone else and be happy, and it's getting worse and more frequent. I've given him tonnes of reassurance and sympathy, and I have never ever given him any reason to doubt my faithfulness to him what so ever. He knows how much I love him, and I go out of my way to prove it. I am 100% honest with him, I have chosen to give him passwords to all of my social media accounts and emails as I have nothing to hide, I'd obviously rather have my own privacy with these things but it seemed to put him at ease at first, but now it's just worse. He doesn't do the same for me and keeps everything very private, not that I'd want to look but it's like double standards. He still comes out with the same stuff e.g "if someone else came along you'd leave me straight away I've got nothing going for me" and it's exhausting, and worries me that he'd think so little of me. This leads to arguments and he gets very very angry, he has never hit me but has come close (punching walls and doors and stuff), and it's not like either of us has done anything bad at all to induce this. I'm 19 and he's 21, and we both still live at home with parents, and when he shouts and screams infront of both of our families I get so embarrassed that I feel like I can't be around his family any more. He also has no drive or ambitions, and has a very relaxed atmosphere at home. He doesn't have to do anything for himself, and spends most of his days playing xbox. I feel like ever since we've been in a relationship he has lost all effort he once used to have. He's put on a tonne of weight, looks scruffy whenever I see him and doesn't arrange to do anything with me apart from invite me to his. He doesn't drive and isn't spontaneous and I just feel like our life together is boring and repetitive. We both love each other dearly and I'm looking for advice on what I can do to try and save this relationship, or should I end it?

[ronbo]

end it. he doesnt love himself. so how can he love you. but if you have been blessed with great beauty, then you need to know you will always get hit on in life, men are visual.so dress modestly in public. never get sex and love mixed up.you marry him, it will be a big mistake!!. true love gives. if you put the other first, then its real love. but if you think ''what can i get out of this'' then its selfishness. read book his needs her needs by hartley.

[Nicky]

It sounds as though he is depressed. Thinking low of himself, no self esteem, trust issues etc but if he isnt going to get help from a doctor or other professional then there is only so much he can expect from you on the reassurance part. You shouldnt have to share your passwords. If you havent given him reason not to trust you (which it sounds like you havent) he is just being paranoid and he needs to know that this is pushing you away..

Even though you have sympathy for him he needs to grow up and help himself aswell. He is 21 he should be working or at least looking for work (if he isnt working ) not sitting on his xbox all day and his parents shouldnt be allowing this behaviour. He should be taking you out to the cinemas and meals not inviting you over his all the time. Sometimes love isnt enough and you have to move on.

You should NEVER feel that you cant see your family or that he might hit you he shouldnt be agressive at all not even to the wall and shouldnt be fighting with you infront of family it sounds like he has anger issues and needs anger managment http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxi...anger.aspx No offence but he sounds like he can and will become a control freak and want to control your every move this isnt love.

Please take yourself out of this situation and have some space from him to collect your thoughts it might also be a good idea to see if your family have noticed any warning signs and listen to their advice. At the end of the day its your decision but you asked for an opinion so mine is...

if he doesnt seek the help he obviously needs then get out of there before he becomes dangerous
Good Luck x

[razielkainspecter]

Since 8 was a guy like him with a wonderful girlfriend like you at the time. I can say my advice to gou is to grow the strongest backbone you can grow, put on your tough and serious attitude/spirit/face and tell him this (not in the exact words but hopefully you get the idea):

Listen, I hope you still know that I love you vefy much and I know thesame that is why I am choosing to do what I am about to do rather than just walk away (which I will if you still dont change). Your level of insecurity is becoming such a heavy bag and it is not like I am not trying but it seems the more I bear it for you the more comfortably insecure and at easy w8th your current state you are. I want to grow and better myself and I cant do it if you remain like this. You must change for this relationship to continue and I cant really make you change so tjink a out it and when you are sincerely ready to change and have proof to show me, I will be here with you but for now, I want to be on my own"

Dont take away your passwords for the various accounfs and logons except he behave badly by posting things or using thme in appropriately.

Some people need a very serious kick in order to growup sometimes and be responsible. You too must be mature about this and not cave in when he screams, cries, begs, threatens, accuses you of infidelity or whatever. Just ingnore those and not even listen to the words as they would have been designed to create maximum hurt in the hope that that would break you and open the gates to luring you back (because once he knows hes broken you then his sweet side would come oit and charm you back and I promise yoj then you are really going to get it! Payback in the most subtle but painful form) thats why it is importa t he truly changes. If he truly does, you will know in the way he interacts with you on the phone, and from conversations with your friends and thise who know him very well.

Thats all I can say without ending up writing a book here lolz.

Best of luck to you and remember, stay very strong and tougher than you think you can be. It is for both of your sakes and future.

[Nawty]

RUN I wish I had 28 yrs ago. Mine didn't get better didn't change. we now have 3 kids n Im sitting here 2am on my birthday drinking and wishing for a way out so I can feel again and be me without worrying what reaction I will get from him if I or the kids do x,y or z. Sorry babe could be some transferance here but my gut still says RUN!!!