Please correct my English.?

[Hiroro]

★The growing number of children not wanting to go to school★

I think that more and more children don't want to go to school for the following two reasons.

The first reason is bullying.
These days more and more children were bullied than before partly because internet is more common for them. For example, by using messege board, bullies can hurt you not only in person, but also the place where you don't know. This means that they can bully you secretly. Therefore, the number of children not wanting to go to school is increasing.

Second, children are not interested in learning.
These days, there are a lot of things such as video game that are more interesting for them than learning. When I was in middle school, I often heard the children around me say that yesterday they played a video game until late at night so that they could not go to school on time or could not study for the exam. If you do the same thing over and over again like this, you can't keep up with other children. As a result, you gradually tend to be absent from school.

For these reasosns, more and more children don't want to go to school.

thank you
I'm 23 years old.
I've just started to study English composition and how to write essay so
Im sorry for lots of errors XD
For your information, I'm Japanese.

[4allpups]

Hi - Konnichiha - Hiroro

Thanks for the info. Pressed for time this morning, so have just quickly done a couple of examples for you. The first basically just has a few minor corrections with your grammar and punctuation. The second is an altered version. Hope either example helps you. Your English is actually good. Much superior to that of many I come across on this site and with whom English is their first and only language!

1.
I think that more and more children don't want to go to school for the following two reasons:

My first reason is due to bullying.

These days more and more children are bullied than before, partly because of the internet. For example, by using Message Board, Bullies can hurt you, not only in person, but also in ways you don't know about. You may not find out about this until attending school - where even more students will join in the bullying - therefore you will want to avoid going.

Secondly, children are not interested in learning.

These days there are a lot of things, such as video games, that are of more interest to children than education. When I was in Middle School, I often heard children around me talking about how they had been playing a video game until late at night and did not get to school on time, or did not study for an exam. If a student does this over and over again, they can't keep up with other students. As a result, they gradually tend to be absent from school more and more.

(You do not need to repeat that this is why you think they do not want to go to school as this is done in your title line)

2.
I believe that the growing number of children not wanting to attend school are for two main reasons.

Firstly, the increasing prevalence of bullying.

More children are the victims of bullying than ever before, both physical and mental. This is directly related to the increase of Social Media in its many forms and the ease of access to these forums. Prior to these mediums, the bullying was mainly confined to the school yard by a small group or individual.

Today, children continue to be tormented by Bullies outside of school hours. They are victimized on Facebook, Twitter, Message Board, via SMS to their mobile phones etc. Not only are they targeted by those same Bullies from school, but by complete strangers who get involved in the frenzy of unwarranted hatred towards a person, with no personal reason to do so - except the desire to be part of a 'group'.

The victims have no respite/relief and no privacy - even in their own homes - from the constant vicious attacks by an enormous number of people. By staying out of the school environment, they hope that those bullying them will turn their focus elsewhere. Unfortunately, in recent years there have been a number of cases where children have committed suicide because of the extreme bullying they have been subjected to.

My second reason is lack of educational interest.

Classes today are much larger than they used to be. The teachers, due to the lack of resources and even the lack of true interest, no longer try to engage their students and make the learning environment an interesting - even entertaining - one. Their focus is on pushing the students through the Educational System as quickly as possible.

Children seek their mental stimulation in other ways, frequently by engaging in video/computor games. When I was in Middle School, I was constantly hearing other students talk about a video game they were playing and how they were still up very late into the night - especially when playing 'on-line' against other anonymous people. They would become so engrossed in their game that they would loose track of the time. They would give no thought to their home-work or studying for an exam and of course, not get much sleep. This in turn would often cause them to either be late for school, where they would be too tired to concentrate, or they would stay home - to get more sleep and invariably, keep playing their games. A vicious circle.

All too quickly, these children find themselves falling further and further behind in classes and (other students) average academic levels. It reaches the point when they fall so far behind, that they cannot even keep up with the subject matter - as their poor grades reflect. Instead of trying to catch up in their studies, many students adopt a 'why bother even going to school anymore' attitude.

These, I believe, are the biggest contributing factors to the increasing absenteeism and drop-out rates in our schools.