I always feel left out with my friends!?

[musicintheclouds]

ok...so i have 3 other friends, lucy, ella, and jasmin. Lucy and I have been friends since primary school when we helped eachother when we were getting bullied but then we came to secondary school and we became friends with jasmin and ella. In 1st year lucy accused me and jasmin of leaving her out, which, i can see why she thought this because me and jasmin belong to a club and i have facebook and she dosent and since all info/notifications are through facebook i need to talk to her about it during school...but ever since we rarely mentioned it around her and i thought wew ere over it. But we are noe in 4th yer and we were in the dinner que the other day and me and jamin were looking at a poster when ella asked what we were doing when suddenly lucy says 'oh, theyre having there own wee private conversation AS USUAL!' when we wernt even talking to each other.

Anyway, so jasmin and lucy are in 2 classes with each other but not the rest of us. When it comest o break and lunch they talk about what happened and have theyre own inside jokes and all...i dont think ella minds because shes always at hockey mettings etc but i always feel left out... It has got to the point where if we gett o chose where we sit and me and jasmin are in the que beside each other, lucy will purposely puch inbetween us because 'she dosent like sitting at the end of the row!'' its so unfair, its like now i have to ask permission to sit beside her! I just thinkt his has gotten out of hand and if ever me and jasmin are seated beside each other by teachers (our namesa re beside each other alphabetically) as soonasth e bell rings lucy will be over to us in a shot and ask us what we are talking about!
But recently lucy has accused me of copying her with everything I do, if its what brand of shmpoo I like, I am copying her, if its what I say I am copying her! So I know if i mention to her thati am feeling left out i will be accused of copying her. But now i feel like her and jasmin are oushing me out and even if i am walking beside jasmin when we are walking doen the corridor, lucy will purposfully walk in front inbetween us so we are split up! Ah, i hate this and its so immature but its like i just cant stop it because lucy is ok when we are on our own but shes so pushy when we r with the rest of r group! And i also know that if i say im feeling left out not only willi be accused of copying her but i will b told thattha t is how she felt ect- blaming me again! And i just cant makefrie nds- i am in 4th year and everyone has the friend groups!

[Pepper]

Just be glad you have any friends. I'm 26 and in high-school I had like 20 good friends. Everyone moved away, had kids or lost touch ... I haven't had a friend in 10 years.

PS: It's harder to make new friends as an adult. Get ready for the hard road

[Scarlett-Kyra]

This looks like a bad case of jealousy. Maybe it is time to get in with a different crowd, i know that is hard but it might be for the best. You seem to be more intellect that the other girls, Lucy seems to be very controlling. You need to stick up for yourself and make Lucy know she is a nasty piece of work and you don't like being treated how she treats you, this is bullying and if it continues then you should go to a teacher or the head i know people don't like doing that because it comes across as grassing or what ever but you must be responsible and if that makes you a tell tail then so be it! I hope this helps love and you get your problem sorted you are welcome to mail me if you need anymore on the subject or any other

[Kat Sanderson]

Lucy is clearly the problem in this difficult friendship. I honestly think what you need to do is have a conversation with Lucy by herself. She was jealous of you and Jasmin, and now as a kind of revenge she's trying to make YOU feel left out. When you and Lucy are by yourselves, you need to apologize for leaving her out firstly at the beginning, but explain that her leaving you out is making you upset. Say how she pushes in between you, and how it's unfair. Say you want to resolve it in a mature manner without anybody feeling sad or jealous at the end. Say that you and Jasmin will include her more and she should include you more as well. If Lucy agrees but continue to leave you out or just flat out refuses to stop her behaviour, it's time to talk to Jasmin. By herself. Tell her about Lucy's behaviour and that it's making you upset, and ask her opinion on what should happen.If Jasmin is defensive then you should leave it. Try talking to Ella and she what she thinks as well. The likely hood is that she won't care very much, so you should stick with her until Lucy and Jasmin realise they miss having you around. It's not so fun having only two of you.