10 pts for best ans! Approaching a guy for conversation?

[Tunnu]

How do I casually approach a guy for conversation? He and I are both Muslim and I only see him once a week at our local Muslim center. How can I casually approach him for conversation without seeming like I am trying to flirt with him (which is frowned upon both in our religion and culture)?

Best, most detailed answer will get 10pts!

[Funny]

Do you like a shy guy? Yes, they might be hard to talk to at first, but just remember that they're still people underneath that wall of silence. You just have to get past that wall and you may find that you like what's underneath it. Remember, most shy people don't open up right away. Following these steps probably does not earn results in a few days, so be prepared to spend awhile trying to get him to open up.






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Edit Steps


1
Casually approach him and strike up a small conversation. Remember, shy people are just like everyone else except with a wall, like I said; they won't run away if you make quick movements. Small conversation is usually rather impersonal and can consist of: the homework, weather, teachers, something on the news, or otherwise. If he really likes you, he won't be able to stop thinking about you.





2
Get in contact with him on a social network. It wont intimidate him as much, and will give him a chance to think about his answer.


3
Attempt to talk to him a few times a week. By talking to him a few times a week, you will begin establishing a bond and he may start to tear down his wall for you. After small talk, you should begin moving onto personal things like: family, travel, summer vacation plans, his hobbies, and other casual but personal topics.


4
Gauge his feelings and drop hints that you like him. After you've talked to him for awhile, transition conversations onto a more personal level. Perhaps talk about what you both are looking for in a person, and drop hints that what you're looking for is him.


5
Make physical contact after awhile, but be sure he's okay with it. Don't ask him if he's okay with being touched, just do it once and see how he reacts. A touch or pat on the shoulder is fine. If he seems to dislike it, then refrain from touching him until you know he is more comfortable with you. However, if he seems fine with it, then you should continue to do it every once in awhile. Don't go too far; hugs (when needed), small touches on his arm, and pats on the shoulder are just fine.


6
Ask him out. Make sure to do this in private and one-on-one. Don't even ask around close friends, or else he might feel uncomfortable as well as feel pressured to say yes. You want him to say yes because he wants to, not because he thinks he needs to. He might also be pressured to say no, so be careful.


7
Keep the date simple if he agrees. Going out to public places is most likely not his thing. Suggest a movie at your house (though he might be afraid to meet your parents) or something else that's away from people. You could also suggest getting drive-through dinner and parking some place quiet to eat and talk.


8
Every person has an ego. If necessary, find a way to increase his self-esteem. Make him feel confident around you.


9
Let him feel competent by having him help you with something. It could be a homework problem or where to buy the latest gadget. Whatever works.


10
Be genuinely interested in him. Because shy guys are guys too! Find out his hobbies or passions. Or talk about a common interest. DO NOT PRETEND TO LIKE SOMETHING YOU DON'T! But ask open-ended questions about it. It will make you a good listener, get to know him better, and you will have fewer chances to say something stupid. (If you do anyway, as 99% of us do, forgive yourself.)


11
Be approachable and attractive, but not so stunning and loud as to draw him away. Most guys actually approach cute girls over gorgeous girls because they find really pretty girls out of their league. This applies particularly to shy guys, who have little confidence to begin with. I'm not saying it isn't okay to be really, really, really, incredibly good-looking. But don't draw so much attention to it. Now is not the time to try cutting-edge fashion or over-the-top makeup.


12
Throw a small party and invite a few people you know he'll be comfortable with. Make it fun by trying some ice-breaking games and whatnot.

[Tash]

Well, you probably won't bother reading my answer because the other answer is so good, but I'll try anyway. I'm home schooled, so I never talk to guys outside of Facebook, and yesterday, I went to drama club, and there was a new member, who was surprise surprise a guy. I thought he was going to be very awkward to talk to, especially as he's my friend's boyfriend, but he wasn't! He was very polite, and friendly! All I had to do was walk up, and say 'hey, you waiting for Vikki (the teacher),' and he said 'yeah, it's alright haha' and we stood and chatted 'till the teacher arrived. Well, I hope you at least read this, and I wish you good luck(:

[Mia Cummings]

A simple "Hello, I'm *name*" with a smile should do

Maybe ask what he thought of something that you all do / listen to / etc at the Muslim center. (forgive my ignorance, but I'm not Muslim!)

Just a lighthearted question about something you have both been involved in at the center (which then gives you something in common). Dont giggle alot and touch him as this is obvious flirting. But a simple discussion about something should be fine

[neddy-nedda]

What do you do at the center? You could ask him for help with something. “stand in the path of the storm” … that is, participate in whatever activity he’s doing – which will bring about opportunities for casual conversation. It may be frowned upon by your religion and culture, but not by him. We love the attention and its flattering. And a lot of the time we’re naive – we think you’re just very friendly.