How do I go about getting sole custody?

[Eric Brant]

My Ex-Girlfriend did not inform me about where she was in the hospital to see my son or sign the birth certificate. When she finally messaged me on Facebook she told me to get out of her life. We went on talking back and forth and I told her I was going to get a DNA test and she agreed to it. Then I had asked her if she put me down as the father and she had said no. Then I told not to worry about the DNA test because since I am not on the Birth Certificate I am not responsible for the child. Then later on I started thinking about the decision that I made. Today I had contacted her if she was free this saturday so I can schedule an appointment for a DNA test. She had read my message but did not reply and disregarded it since the message notified me that she had seen the message. So I had sent another message 20min later. Still nothing. I finally sent one last message saying "I would like to know if you're free on Saturday so I can schedule a Paternity Test. I am not going to schedule one and let you know where and what time and you not show up because I'll be wasting my money. So are you free this Saturday and can you send me some pictures and do not blow me off" She had finally responded and told me this, "Leave me alone please. Keep messaging me, and I will go to court for a protective order for harassment. I asked you many times to leave me alone". During her labor which I had to find out via a second facebook I asked her why did she not inform me and kept me out of everything and she told me this "Why are you fucking with my life??? You just caused me to lose EVERYTHING. Thank you leave me alone!!" She is a crazy psychotic two faced bitch and she's nice when she wants to be and get's mad out of nowhere and always changes her mind. So I would like to know how do I go about getting custody of my son? I would like sole custody because she has another son who she has not seen in about a year or so and his father isn't apart of his life. I would like my son to have his father even though she will not agree to a DNA test now. Also her friend is a mind manipulator. Her friend belittles my character and say's things about me that is not true. Her friend says things like " I am a woman beater, I am going to be in and out of my son's life and that I do not have any rights, which is totally ridiculous."
If you read correctly, my ex will not let me have anything to do with my son. I do not have my son at this moment and I did not get to even hold him
How do I go about getting sole custody or dual custody. My son is only 2 days old btw

[Amie]

uh...ripping a child away from the only parent he's known is very unfather like.

Too Add: You're not understanding the terms. Sole custody means you have all rights while the mother has none. That means sole legal and physical. There are two custody rulings that go into a custody agreement. From there child support, and sometimes parental support, depending on which state you live in.

Right now you have no rights until you prove you're the father so that could mean your ex has sole custody, but technically there's nothing on paper, at least so far as you've told me. Most of the time its Joint Legal and Joint Physical with one parent the primary or custodial, parent. Which means Legally both parents have rights to make decisions concerning the child's welfare, education, and religion. And both have Physical rights meaning spending a certain alloted time with the child. I don't know if its an actual law but every family court judge should act in "the best interest of the child". Most of the time it is in the best interest of the child to bond with both parents.

You need to file a petition to establish paternity and custody at the court and get her served. Every state has a different way of handling things and different laws so I can't give you much detail. Consulting an attorney would be a very good idea just make sure you get a sensible one. If he's trying for sole custody, without substancial evidence of her being unfit, then he's just trying to fatten his pocket book.

Most of the time if you ask to have joint legal and physical you'll get it. Joint Physical doesn't mean 50/50 just means as I explained before--you have rights to see your child as he does to see his father. If you have less time than the mother it's sometimes referred to visitation.

[Janet Pierce]

Amid has things a little jumbled up. This info is for the whole US (and several other countries).

Currently mom has sole legal and physical custody and you have nothing. You don't even have a child yet. Only YOU can sign your name to the AOP, mom couldn't if she wanted.

You need to file a petition for a paternity action where the baby lives. You request court-ordered DNA so it's legit. If it comes back as you then you file for visitation/custody. I will tell you right now that you will NOT get sole custody nor with you get physical custody. Because unless mom shows up to court with baby on one arm and a needle sticking out of the other she will not be deemed unfit.

You will get graduated visitation, allowing you longer and longer visits. And she will request (and get) child support.

Unless her other child was taken by child services, where that child lives is irrelevant. As the custodial parent, mom gets to determine WHERE the child lives.