Why do I feel I have to maintain family communication in order to maintain a family relationship?

[Kevin]

I live thousands of miles away from my immediate family. I always maintain communication with my family, more so my mother and father via cell phone. I call 3-5 times a week and everything always seems so great. Then one day I called my sister, no response...then tried again...nothing...then i go on facebook to see, wow she was just on here from her phone. Now I understand that the world does not relvolve around me, but yet this seem to have urked me. I called my sister a day or two later to again receive no answer this time I leave a voicemail saying how I had been trying to call and then how I love that a minute later your on facebook, and straight up ignoring me. A few hours later I was shocked to see that my mother was calling me. I was shocked because I never ever get calls from my folks. So i answered to a pissed off mother saying that she was effing BS, that I has harrased my sister and if this harrasment continued that I would not be welcomed by them. I was told that I was a very social person more social then anyone in the family which is why I feel the need to have to always maintain communication. This hurts because I love my family to death and being far away the best means of communication is phones. I know that if i were to not pick up that phone and dial, I would NEVER receive a phone call saying Hi... Why do I feel that I have maintain communications in order to maintain family relations? They have never complained to me that I call too much. They've always seemed to enjoy conversations with me. Am I wrong? I am flying to see them in a couple weeks for a job interview and am planning on staying with them. I am so irritated that I dont even want to call them at all...see if they call me before I am suppose to see them. Am I wrong for feeling hurt that I have to put forth the effort to maintain ties? They have kids and grandkids they rarely talk to or see and tell me that they are perfectly ok with that. REALLY??? Please someone just gimme a little insight please. Thanks

[Sid]

Three to five calls a week might be a little much but it depends on the length of call, time of day, and the topics. I love my sister but only talk with her about once a month for an hour or so, sometimes I call, sometimes she calls. When my parents were alive and in Florida I would call every Sunday night and it might last 2 hours. I am not suggesting you do the same, but try to see what they feel reasonable for topics, timing, time, and frequency. Offer an apology and ask for their druthers, even if you have to swallow hard. If you can find their comfort zone your calls should be more welcome. Keeping family ties is important and you may have to walk on eggshells to maintain them. There is no magic wand, unfortunately. Good luck!