I don't know what to do about my friend... (a lot of reading)?

[wjhs]

So I have this friend, (we'll call her Amanda) we're really close, the only thing I don't like about her is that she is EXTREMELY sensitive. She's always been sensitive, but lately, she just kind of lost her mind, I don't know. There's nothing that I know about that could have triggered this, except for when her mom and step-dad got a divorce, but it's been months since then... you'd think she would have recovered if this was the case. Well, anyways, I took a BIG notice to this change in her behavior a few months ago when a few friends and I were spending the night at her house. We were talking about this band we liked when Amanda made a comment about "hating" a member in the band. One of my other friends (we'll call her Elizabeth) replied with, "You shouldn't say you 'hate' her when you don't even know her personally." Then Amanda exploded and she was just like "WELL, FINE, I GUESS I'LL STOP VOICING MY OPINIONS." Then she stormed off, idek. So we all just kind of sat there and continued talking 'cause we didn't know what the hell to do. Then Amanda came back about 5 minutes later, and sat on the couch. She was f*cking crying her eyes out, her face was blood red. She was holding her wrist and we just kind of looked at her like "the f*ck." Then she said, "It didn't hurt at all." We were confused. Then she repeated, "It didn't hurt at all." She said had cut her wrist with a tab off a soda can or something. Then we were like, "Why would you do that?" and then Amanda turns to Elizabeth and was like, "I made you upset." so Elizabeth was like, "What are you talking about?" and Amanda goes, "I made you upset so I cut myself." We were all so freaked out. Then the next morning, we just pretended like nothing happened.

Amanda eventually started going to therapy, but after awhile, the therapist didn't diagnose her with anything and said she was fine. I'm not saying you have to have some kind of mental illness to self-harm yourself, but Amanda kept going. We'd be messaging on Facebook or something, then she would just say something like, "I burned myself... on purpose." Like wtf, how are we supposed to reply to that? We told her we wished she would stop, and she was just like, "Yeah, I know."

Then the other day, Elizabeth and Amanda were talking because Elizabeth lost her iPod at Amanda's house and was ranting about, saying, "I always lose sh*t at your house. I should just stop coming over (jokingly, of course)." But Amanda thought she was serious and started crying in the middle of class. And for some reason, that her pissed at me. Idek why. At school dismissal later on that day, I saw her sitting by herself so I went to sit beside her to wait for our rides to take us home. But when I did, she got up and walked away and sat somewhere else. I just kind of stood there, then decided to see what was up. I walked up to her, "Hey, Amanda," and she was crying of course. And I go, "Why are you upset with me? If you tell me, maybe we can talk about it." Which was really hard for me to say because I am insensitive as f*ck. But she didn't say anything, she just continued crying. So I just sat there as she sobbed.

She hasn't talked to any of her friends since then. Nobody knows what to do because everyone is clueless as to what they did wrong. I don't know if I should just give up on my friend because seriously, we all have to watch closely what we say to her because you never know what could set her off. She's a great friend to have around, but really, I think this is getting a little out of hand that we can't even speak comfortably around her anymore. We don't wanna end up saying something and having her resulting in hurting herself because of us. I don't if I'm just being insensitive like I am, or what. Thoughts?

[Sazza]

This is hard...Im not sure

I think she maybe needs more help than she is getting...can you talk to her parents? tell them whats going on? Get your parents to talk to them?

[Baha]

Umm.. wow uh I would possibly suggest that she has depression it is hard to diagnose some one I suffer from depression it leads to sensitivity and mood changes in most teens I show mine in bipolar disorder. When I was younger I showed it through sensitivity ask her how she feels and her reason behind it try to be the person she talks to tell her it is better to talk than to hurt herself that hurting herself isn't going to help her I used to self mutilate but I stopped after I had a friend who helped me though it if anything just talk to her ask her to listen different types of music on what she feels like here's a few bands some might be too extreme but listen to them look them up on Pandora or YouTube Evanescene, Underoath, fire flight, and maybe a happy station like Lindsey Stirling.

[Beatlemania]

I'll start by saying, I know she's going through a rough time, and it's hard for you to be around her while it's happening. But you've got to stay with her and try and help her. I believe she should go back to therapy. I went to therapy, they didn't diagnose me with anything, but you know, sometimes the therapists are wrong. Amanda may not have told them everything. I kept a lot of stuff hidden from my therapist because I didn't actually want a diagnosis at first.

Get together with your friends, and tell Amanda you'd like her to come out with you, maybe to the cinema, or to eat and have a nice time because you think she deserves some cheering up. Just genuinely, be as nice as possible, until a therapist, or someone, just helps her through this. Don't leave her, however hard it may be.

[RedFoxWhiteTail]

Well all I can say is get her help, get her help! people like her develop more issues and can lead her to suicide. Tell her parents or talk to the consoler, do something. and in my opinion don't stop being her friend this will hurt her more, and will possibly lead her to suicide.

[Michelle]

Well you mentioned her mom and stepdad getting a divorce, and I'm supposing you've never been through it. Divorce is very traumatic on a child, and it can cause a lot of problems. You don't just "get over it" after a few months, it affects you for the rest of your life. My parents were literally a signature away from a divorce, and even though they are still together, it still affects me. A lot of my friends' parents got divorced and they started cutting because of all the trauma it arose, so don't just assume she should be "over it," because it's a hard thing to go through. Anyways, it seems like your friend is going through a tough time and is just a holy hot mess. Maybe it's time to take down your walls and start being a little more sensitive. Just let her rant and cry about everything and just sit there and listen. Empathize with her. Sometimes, all a person needs is a friend to care about them and listen to them. Most people feel alone in the world, maybe you could help her out. If you attempt this for a while, and she seems to be getting worse, she may have what I call "Black Hole Syndrome." Basically, the person is a "black hole" of sadness and pain, and they try to suck everybody in as well. People who are like this usually harm and starve themselves for attention because they feel neglected. If this girl "Amanda" is publicly sharing about her self harm, especially on apps like Instagram and Tumblr, that is a clear sign that this girl needs help. If she becomes too big of a problem to handle, go to a counselor and anonymously tell him/her about Amanda and how you think she needs help. She may have anxiety and/or depression, you never know. But if you honestly can't handle it, even after you've tried to help her and get her to counseling, it's just time to let her go. You're not God, you don't have to save everybody. Sometimes, there's just nothing you can do and you just have to let the person find their own way out. Don't let her drag you down too. So let God be God and you be you. I hope I helped dear.