Have you left an abusive relationship?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now
I'm 20 and he's 21 btw

[Monarchco]

Why do women always pick losers like this guy but never ever give good guys a chance?????

[honesty_counts]

If you are not happy, then leave that person, simple as that.

[Sue C]

I too lived with EVERY kind of abuse to getting Restraining Orders. He was court ordered to anger management. When I had "pangs" of missing him, I tho't of all the times he hurt me, the things he did/said against me to hurt me. This did help a great bit in helping me get over him & go forward with my life. Acceptance IS the key to it all. Accept those things he did that hurt you, makes it much easier on you. Do KNOW the best is yet to come & it WILL!!!,..the best to you, honey...

[*Astro*]

I was in a similar relationship (except I was never thrown down stairs or that drastic) for 5 years before ending the relationship. Its really hard at first because you are having to adjust your whole life and get used to being on your own. It was scary at first (the first 6 months were the hardest) because I would get lonely, but after that, it got better.

I started reconnecting with old friends I had before the relationship and reconnecting with my family. I met and made new friends. There are to pieces of advice I would like to give you if things get a bit tough ....

1. If you need to talk to someone and don't have anyone, go see a counsellor or therapist. They are really good to talk to and don't pass judgement. Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest and by going to a counsellor instead of a friend, it can be better for your recovery
2. Stay single for at least a year - two if you can. This gives you time to fully reboot who your are, what you want as well as your confidence and self esteem. It also prevents you from taking baggage into a new relationship as you are recovering from a bad relationship and also allows you time to work out what you DO want in a partner