my husband cheated me.....?

[Help]

i m a married Muslim women having two kids,i had the love marriage it has been now 5 years pass,i got to know on 1st year of my marriage that my husband have a intense friendship with my sister (they talk also before my marriage),they usually talk on phone,sms and on net,i told this to my family,the situation get critical then i forgive him and save my marriage and i dont want to spoil the child future then after few days of my 2nd kid birthday,i get to knew that my husband cut his hand(he also did it for me b4 the marriage) for my sister and send the pictures on her mail account(he already block him),we fight alot and i told him i want to leave you,he also make harsh attitude and said i will not leave you otherwise i will take the kids,he dont have any other bad habbit nor he have any physical relation with other gals,now the few days before i get to know that he having call on my sister account of around 15 min,9 min,2 min by voice calling software over the internet ,my sis deny he said i dont talk,she said i have the proof i was with mum,she is not accepting,she said i dont have any contact with him nor she want...he have the lock on his mobile,when i argue with him he said i will do it,if you want to leave then leave but i will not give you kids,and i make friendship on social media as well i will do 2nd marriage,every time he said this thing just to threaten me or he have the plans i dont know?situation gets so worst.i dont understand what to do?leave him or stay with him like a stranger just for the sake of kids?right now i said him dont talk with me and have any relation with me i am here in this home just for the sake of these two boys.one is 3 and a half and one is 2 years old....please guide me and tell me what to do?

[marriedandamom]

Staying together for the sake of the kids is never the right choice. They see the relationship dynamic and become confused or upset or think that this is how a relationship should be.
This is not healthy for ANYone. He can threaten all he wants but in the end it is not him that decides custody - it is the judge and there is no reason you wouldn't or couldn't get at least 50% or better custody AND support from him (financial) for the children. If I were you, I would leave.

[Leslie]

It sounds like councilling is a good idea. Why not talk to your mosque leaders about it or ask a good friend what they think? Many christian churches also offer very good marriage council for free to anyone. Me and my husband went together with friends to a local one simply called "the marriage course" it is very comfortable, free, and offers dinner for free as well. Search online and see if one is offered in your area. I hope your husband and you can work this out. We got through an affair with much work, and now have a very good relationship, but you cannot make anyone else change. you can only affect your own actions. God bless you

[Lorena]

firs of all i am so sorry for your pain my heart its with you, now i know in your culture its difficult for women ,so you should be together trying to help up , but i see your sister is a slut cause she has to respect you your family your marriage and your happiness, if he wanted her more why would he married you in the first place? so im guessing he cares about you, but the temptation its hard to resist in a country where its not that bad to have second marriages, talk to your sister with your heart in your hand and ask her to please if she ever cared about you leave your husband alone, tell her how this is destroying you tell her that you cry at nights, that you feel miserably make her feel so bad she desires to stay away in order to make you happy,because maybe your mother would support you too , it would be so much easier to have her by your side cause if she sees you as an enemy or competency she wouldn't mind hurting you , but if she remembers how you used to care for each other, and help each other and that you're sisters maybe shell realize what shes causing you, but from him i don't think you'll gain anything by talking, he thinks he has the right to so by fighting you're only pushing him harder to another woman's arms try to smile pretend every things fine, seduce him not too obviously of course , i know its not fair , and that is a lot to ask for you to beg for mercy on your sister and to play dumb with your husband because its them the ones hurting you but if you want to keep your marriage i don't see another way