Does anyone know where my wife and I can find a sperm donor? Not a bank. Please only mature answers.?

[Shh, Im not here.]

My wife and I have been married for over three years and would like to have a child. We are trying to avoid the sperm bank because it just seems so cold. We would like to meet someone and befriend them. They wouldn't have any rights but would be welcomed as an uncle. A lot of lesbian couples have been putting ads in the paper but is this the only option?

[Michael H]

I'd imagine that'd be the only alternative to going to a sperm bank. Do you know anyone that'd be willing? Because if you don't, advertising would seem to be the only other way. I don't know much about this sort of thing...

P.S. that's cool that you two want kids, I'm sure you'll find some way =D

[Rose G]

Unfortunately, LGBT couples don't have many options when it comes to having children. An ad in the paper is an option, putting ads on social networking sites like Craigslist, and like someone else said, if you have a personal friend that may be willing. My partner and I are very lucky to have to have the option of my brother's sperm and many friends who are very willing to help us have a family. I wish you the best of luck! Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

[Baron Cimitiere]

The problem that you'll face with this is that if the donor wanted to, they could sue for parental rights. They'd have every legal right to do so.

Additionally, should you and the wife break up, your wife could sue the donor for support. Heck, she could sue him for support even if you don't break up. Legally, he'd be stuck with it.

It's a very thin line you're trying to walk. While a bank seems more cold, it's the safest option for all concerned. It could grant both you and the wife legal rights if the worst should happen, and doesn't involved a third party who could use legal maneuvering that you weren't prepared for.

If you're serious about doing this, I'd recommend one of your family members. If you have a brother, or a close cousin this may work. This would keep the child related to both of you, which while it may seem unnecessary, will make a great difference down the road.

I wish you the best of luck.

Edit: Wow, i point out the legal risks and someone thumbs downs me. I'd think the reality of the situation is something that needs to be discussed in this specific scenario.

[mouse_726]

The answers folks have given so far are the only ones I am really aware of. My biggest concern with using a known donor is that you really need to have everything in order legally to make certain that indivdiual doesn't have legal rights to the baby. You might even have to have him sign away his parental rights.

My partner and I used a sperm bank six years ago with great results (our twin boys are almost five now!). I didn't find it to be cold at all. On the contrary....I liked having an unknown donor so that we didn't have to deal with the additional legal ramifications beyond dealing with the fact that until she could adopt them my partner had no legal rights to our boys. I liked being able to chose some of the characteristics that I wanted and knowing the medical history. We went through a well-established donor bank which has a pretty intense screening process and the donor's sperm is checked multiple times for HIV, Cystic Fibrosis and any number of other concerns before it is EVER allowed to be used. I took great comfort in that.

Just thought you should have the opinion of someone who has been there and done that.

[Happythread147]

go to any country bar and find a guy who wants a threesome, maybe he'll hit the bullseye twice and both of you can get pregnant.