How do you know who to invite/not invite to a wedding?

[Audrey]

I heard a guideline that if you haven't been in contact with someone for at least six months that you probably shouldn't invite them to your wedding. Is this a good rule to follow? Well, excluding family members because I don't always talk with certain relatives on a regular basis. Especially since I don't live near them.

There's a few past friends I'm not sure if I should invite or not. The first friend is my best friend from grade school. We were friends all throughout elementary and junior high but drifted apart in high school. We graduated in 2006 so I haven't talk with him much since. One of the girls in my high school group of friends invited him to her wedding in 2010. But another friend got married last month and didn't invite him. The only time I really talk with him if we're both back in our hometowns at the same time or if we text each other on our birthdays.

The next people I don't know what to do are my college roommates. I graduated in spring 2010 but they started college earlier and graduated spring semester 2009. So I haven't really seen or visited them since we were on campus together. I like my college roommates, but I never was as good as friends with them like the people I knew in high school. The only time I saw my two roommates again was when we met up last fall. I was good friends with another roommate but haven't seen or heard from her since graduation.

The last person in question from college is my track coach. I was a college athlete all four years. I got along with him great. But to be honest I wasn't as close to him as my teammates. I wasn't even close with most of my teammates although I got along with everyone. No one from the track team is on my wedding invite list. I know some of my teammates have invited Coach to their weddings, but I don't think I'll invite him to mine. I maybe email him once or twice a year to touch base so it seems random to send him an invite.

My boss is very anti social media. Employee Facebooks are monitored closely. I didn't want to risk it so I gave up my Facebook once I started working my current job two years ago. So I tend to lose track with people.

What do you think I should do? Right now I'm thinking I'll invite my high school guy friend. We were good friends and I was close with his family growing up. His step dad is actually my distant cousin. But as far as the people from college, I'm thinking that I won't invite them. I just haven't kept in close enough contact with them. It would be awkward for me to invite them just out of the blue.

Thanks for your suggestions!

[Candy]

Don't invite anybody you have ever victimized in the past. They're not going to be happy to hear from you.

[LeowithCudi]

There really isn't a guideline to who you should and shouldn't invite. Weddings are very intimate and personal things so you should only really invite people that you think should be there. I understand the family and things just make sure that these people have a special meaning to you so that you would like them to take part in your wedding. Chose people that you know very well, not just have talked to for a couple of weeks. Hope this helps. And congratulations.

[swbarnes2]

If you are mature enough to be getting married, you should be mature enough to figure this out for yourself.

The thing about the 6 month rule is if two years after your wedding, you don't have anything to do with a certain person, then you probably would have been better off keeping the money you spent to have them at your reception, rather than inviting them. And if you haven't contacted someone in 6 months, you aren't likely to contact them again.

[Juwannaâ„¢]

My guidelines would be:

- People who I don't like and likely to cause a scene/make the event a bitter one
- People who have profoundly hurt me
- People whom I barely know

My ones are different from yours so here's some ideas.

[Poodie]

If you were to have a dinner party and wouldn't think to invite these people to your home, don't invite them to your wedding.