Getting over an abuser?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now
I'm 20 and he's 21

[Grandpa]

My first wife was an abusive person. I filed for divorce after almost 12 years of marriage. I did not even date for a couple of years. It took that long before I was able to start trusting people again.

Fortunately I did eventually find my sweetheart and we have been married almost 26 years now. Our life together just keeps getting better with each passing day.

Be patient with yourself, it will take some time to get through this but you can do it and you are worth it. A really decent guy is out there looking for you. Your day will come.

[Bentley]

It was a long time ago... I was sure it was right to leave but it was hard too... very hard. In hindsight, I think I was a bit addicted to the drama. I missed him, but really I grieved all the hopes and dreams I had about our future. I grieved my hopes that things would change. As horrible as it was ... I was ashamed that I missed him. I got into a therapy group for abused women and found out that not only was it ok to have all these mixed up feelings, but it was normal. Please get some help in dealing with this. There are many women in the world that would love to offer you support in putting your life together in a new direction!!!!!

[H A E]

It hurts a lot right now, but over time that hurt will go away. I was abused, and for some reason I let it happen. You're in the same boat. Focus on yourself, why you let those things happen and how to better your situation. Keep your mind centered on that and try not to think of your ex. You will from time to time, but it will be less as time goes on and one day you'll surprise yourself by not caring at all.

[Asiko]

I think you gotta be happy now since you are no longer with this monster. Isn't it already a motivation for a new life?

[quicentella3]

*** yp1 chap. 31 pp. 223-227 How Can I Get Over a Breakup? ***
Moving Forward
You may have heard the saying, Time heals all wounds. When you first break up, those words might ring hollow. That’s because time is only part of the solution. To illustrate: A cut on your skin will heal in time, but it hurts now. You need to stop the bleeding and soothe the pain. You also need to keep it from becoming infected. The same is true with an emotional wound. Right now, it hurts. But there are steps you can take to lessen the pain and keep from becoming infected with bitterness. Time will do its part, but how can you do yours? Try the following.
● Allow yourself to grieve. There’s nothing wrong with having a good cry. After all, the Bible says that there is “a time to weep” and even “a time to wail.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Shedding tears doesn’t mean you’re weak. In the midst of emotional anguish, even David—a courageous warrior—once admitted: “Every night my bed is damp from my weeping; my pillow is soaked with tears.”—Psalm 6:6, Today’s English Version.
● Take care of your physical health. Physical exercise and proper nutrition will help replenish the energy lost as a result of the emotional toll of a breakup. “Bodily training is beneficial,” the Bible says.—1 Timothy 4:8.
What areas pertaining to your health might you need to give attention to?
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● Keep busy. Don’t stop doing the things that interest you. And now, more than ever, don’t isolate yourself. (Proverbs 18:1) Associating with those who care about you will give you something positive on which to focus.
What goals can you set?
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● Pray to God about your feelings. This might be a challenge. After a breakup, some even feel betrayed by God. They reason, ‘I prayed and prayed that I would find someone, and now look at what happened!’ (Psalm 10:1) Would it be right, though, to view God as merely a celestial matchmaker? Surely not; nor is he responsible when one party does not wish the relationship to continue. We do know this about Jehovah: “He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) So pour out your feelings to him in prayer. The Bible states: “Let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 4:6, 7.
What specific things could you pray to Jehovah about while you are striving to cope with the anguish of a breakup?
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Looking Ahead
After you’ve had time to heal, you might do well to take a close look at just what happened in your past relationship.

Granted, the relationship you were involved in didn’t become what you had hoped. But remember this: In the middle of a storm, it’s easy to focus on the dark sky and the pouring rain. Eventually, though, the rain stops and the sky clears. The youths quoted earlier in this chapter found that they were, in time, able to move on. Be assured that the same can be true of you!