Do you think It's okay for my mom to do this?

[Alexandra]

I'm 16(girl) and a for Christmas I got the iphone 5 in white from my dad. I was so happy and grateful to get it but my mom didnt know I had a phone because I wasn't supposed to have one because she says Im too young and says you may get innapropoate picture messages from a random person and it can happen because I heard it on the news she said..I said that doesnt make sense because the odds of getting a random inappropriate message is like 0. Just recebtly she found out I had a phone because it went off and she told me to give it to her and was mad at me for lying to her for not having one because I didnt want to deal with her reaction. She conviscated from me and decided to let me keep the phone but she wants to look through all my messages, voicemails, past calls, and apps when she wants to , and wants to have my password to my phone so she can monitor what i have on there...do you think that's normal? I dont look at porn because I know its wrong and i dont even have a boyfriend and my dad thinks shes crazy which is why he's getting a divorce..its not she doesnt trust me she said even though thats what it seems like and i told her about it but she said im only trying to protect you from evil and you're underage and as long as you live on my roof even when youre 22 i want to look at your phone..this situation got me so mad i cried..i dont like lying which i admit was wrong..but i didnt want her to find out and ruin my chances of normally using a phone which is too late now...I dont smoke or drink Im clean and i believe in waiting before marriage and i dont even have a social life because of my mom

I lock my phone by the way because just in case if it gets lost or stolen, the person who steals it cant hack into my messages and Facebook and do bad things with it

another reason why i wouldnt like my mom looking at my phone because she'll go through all my messages and question every detail of it and ask me the meaning of everything through the messages and if i text something personal to a friend about a situation happening to me at school or w.e. she will question that too and i bascially cant have any privacy..

I am mature and I know morally right from wrong. And Im obviously aware she cares for me but there should be a limit on how overboard you go with your parenting. It's good to be cautious, but my mom is just paranoid and sheltering a person too much is not going to benefit them

[Holly]

You should try to convince her to let you use it and calmy explain to her why you're mature enough to have a phone and be trusted

[Andy]

I'm not sure about the law out of the UK but in this county- UK, anything you have bought for yourself or have had bought for you and given to you is considered your property and yours to do what you want with. She CAN'T confiscate it, it's yours.

So:

Step 1) Announce to your mum that you want it back immediately and she will have no access to it, that's not negotiable.
Step 2) If she says her house her rules and sort of does that threatening to kick you out thing... Well then she's just put her foot in it hasn't she? Because if she truly cared about your well being she wouldn't want a 16 year old girl homeless now would she? - Make sure you bring that up, how ridiculous her argument is 'I want to see all your messages because I care about you, but if you don't let me see them I will happily kick you out and watch you roam the streets' .... just WOW.... what a ridiculous notion.
Step 3) If she still threatens to kick you out, either a) leave or b) if you dont want to leave, tell your dad to take the phone back, and tell your mum 'I'm not negotiating with you, your arguments are ridiculous and transparent, this conversation is over. Give dad the phone back or give it to me so I can give it to him.'