english teacher please help with this poem?

[Amelia Lily]

i got given a task to write a poem on something in the world from a different perspective. could you please read this and tell me how I can improve it. also I you could please tell me what level you think it is? thank you

From The Skyline-title

I never chose to float up here.
These people, they detest me, I darken their days,
Overcast their blue summer skies.
I watch them cry, grieve for the sun like the death of a loved one.
That is my fault I tell you, for I am the cause of the lack of light,
These people crave to see.
But what can I do to make them not hate me, nothing?
I never chose to float up here.

I’ve been here since the very start, longer than every one of you down there,
On that perplexing planet.
Changing daily, my size, my form.
I may not look the same, but I am indeed the exact.
I have seen everything, witnessed the evolution of this Earth.
Some changes you have made, some are good,
Unfortunately some are bad.
I wish I could be down there, showing you your mistakes,
But I’m not however, I’m stuck bleak and unwanted in this darkened sky.
I never chose to float up here.
As each year has gone by, I’ve watched technology grow.
From up above I see mobiles, I see laptops, many a things.
I see people turn to the internet with their great problems,
Rather than a great friend,
I see the media create the perfect image,
Making those who do not fit the cut,
Simply hate themselves.

I see social networking and chat rooms
Plus everything in between.
I cry to you,
Don’t let this destroy the beautiful world you live in.
This is upsetting for me to see, as up here I can do nothing, nothing,
Nothing at all.
You must keep this world sane, don’t reIy on technology, I beg of you.
You should not doubt me, although I am hated and unloved.
I never chose to float up here.



For next time you look up into the forever dreary sky,
Don’t sigh, I plea.
I never chose to float up here.
Just remember I am one of few things that have been here since the earth
It’s self.
I can see through my friends up here too,
Straight through to earth and your own window.
I don’t miss a trick so I know where you go wrong,
I see the pressurising society,
I see all of what you suffer.
Do not doubt me because of what I am,
I do not intend to darken your days,
Just brighten your future,
My friend.

[DERRICK GASKIN]

Unusual perspective, so you have achieved your goal. I feel it is overlong and could do with editing, especially any lines that repeat themselves. In a poem a phrase should only be used once except for very special effect - even repeating the same words in a poem can be detrimental to the overall idea. 'but I amindeed the exact' - I don't like this phrase and would encourage you to think of another way of expressing this. 'It's self'. Do you mean that this is indeed 'self' or should this read 'its self' - I think the latter is the correct usage. Summing up: an exceptional idea very well expressed. If you are prepared to shorten this I feel the impact would be quite startling. Well done.