Serious first 'Crush' problem - Very very very grateful for an answer ( +10 )?

[Danny]

Hey guys , i hope you can help me with this really big problem in my life. I'm a 16 year old boy that now goes to college in the UK. when i went to secondary school , i liked a girl in my year ( Year 9 ) and i felt like she was the one for me. i did a mistake of telling the wrong person and then like a wildfire everybody knew the next day. What i can say was she was embarrassed. i'm an average looking guy ( i've been told by others but i think im hideous [ Rated 5/10 ] ) and i have never had 'swag' or any of the cool things that the popular people had. Her just like most other girls go for the ' cool ' type of boys.

After 1 month and after lot of peer pressure , i went to ask her out which was a serious mistake on my part because it was rushed , not that she was going to say yes anyways. Embrassingly, i wrote what i was going to say to her on a piece of paper on my diary and filled on side ( A4 ) on it described how i felt about her and how my heart skipped a beat everytime i saw her , i never exaggerated because i meant every word. She read it and in the nicest possible way she turned me down.

From there, i stopped liking her for about a month but after that month i started liking her again and everyday it's gotten stronger and stronger. I really do feel that she is the one for me and every other girl isn't the same for me and to be honest, i barely know her.

Since we divided and went to different colleges i tried to keep in contact with her by facebook. For about a month i talked to her and most of it wasn't online , it was 'send and 3 days later receive a brief reply'. About a few weeks ago , i sent her a message saying how i understood why she didnt want to talk to me and i said i wont say anything to you anymore. i sent that message in defeat i was expecting a ' yes, i dont want to talk to you anymore' i mean why would she? she doesn't need to know me anymore. To be honest, i told myself if she said yes i will forget about her and everything , in my head i thought it was certain that she was going to say that she don't want to know me anymore but shockingly, she said ' im so sorry you felt that way , i would talk to you more frequently but i've been really busy with my college work'. she gave a rope to hold to for no reason, she could have easily said i dont want to talk to you and that would have been the end of me , but she didn't? i'm still confused about that now.

After that , we started to talk a bit more. Then suddenly, she un-friended me!? i think it was advice from her friends saying that , that was the best option. i know this because EVERYONE all my friends that weren't even close to her are still friends with her on Facebook , but i'm not. Its still like this right now.

What i want to do is, after i finish college ( in a years time) i'll start to build my physique by going to the gym and i want to get this junior accounting job ( hopefully), i want to be more attractive so i can grab her eye and ask her for a date and by that time i will have 'swag' or look much better with my clothing and hair. Right now i dont have any because of my parents ( they just havn't got around to buying me clothes , not that they dont want to they are always busy and i dont want to disturb them if you get what i mean).

i almost forgot to describe my character, i'm loved by everyone, im intelligent (average smartness) , im really caring and im really really kind. i've been told that im the nicest and kind person anyone could ever meet. i'm not rude, im always clean, i have high standard for personal hygiene (i can never go out stinking) and im always straightforward. im a laid back guy that always over thinks things and really funny . . .at times. I'm really care for everybody and i love everybody even if i've just met them ( not in a homosexual way)

I think about this girl everyday before i go to sleep, i really really like her and in my head i pretend that we do go out and i treat her like she is the prettiest and the princess of the world. I know it's sad i think like this but im so into her. i don't know if i can say this but i love her with all my heart even though i barely know her and she barely thinks about me. i really really want this to happen because i feel like she is one for me. I've liked her for 3 years. i know i seem desperate and someone without a life but i have loads of feeling towards her. I've been told to move on and forget about her and i've tried - she said she doesn't like me so i should stop right?

What i want is for someone to help me on what i should do? Forget about her? Move on? so many more options but im so confused and sad. This is a long read and im really sorry it had to be this long , but i'm really appreciative for any help even if it's really small .

Thank you very much for your time
Thank you two for your take , really grateful.

Rachel: sorry if i made it seem that i freaked out the girl , i haven't it's ' im not attractive enough' sort of thing.

Ciaran Babb: yeah you're right.

i need to level up to rate your answers ( sorry, my first question) but once i do , i will definitely rate them.
Bubbbyy.: Oh my god, Thank you very much. I will take your advice i'm really grateful for it. Thank you so so much.

[Rachel]

Sorry to say it but you've probably 'freaked out' the girl. She may also be very shallow if she wont date you purely cause of looks.

[Ciaran Babb]

I used to be like you....want some advice? Forget about her, it's her mistake, not yours. She dosen't know what she's missing she'll probably pop some asshole's kid next year...she'll be one of these girls that's gone out with jerks and then ask herself, ''where have all the nice guys gone'' and then you'll say to her ''you've turned them down, left them in the friend zone'' Life's a bitch sometime

[Bubbbyy.]

My advice to you is move on, move away, forget about her...

And you're probably wondering why... Well...

First of all, she rejected you the first time around showing that she wasn't interested back then. I admire the fact that you kept on believing that she might change her mind but I'm sorry to say (and I find it very sad to tell you this) but I don't think she is really right for you. She seems to have a hurt you far too many times.

Secondly, I think the reason why she didn't tell you to go away on Facebook was because she didn't want to hurt you more than she already had and it was a polite way of saying it. The fact that she 'unfriended' you on facebook, suggests to me that she still isn't interested, despite all your efforts to talk to her.

Thirdly, I know this may all seem like a direct attack on you, but I really don't think she is the girl for you, or that you even feel for her as strongly as you think. You've already said that you don't really know her that well but you 'love' her, this strikes me as odd as surely, love is an emotional, close bond which you form with another person because of how well you get on with them. How can you 'love' her if you've hardly ever spoken?

Despite all of these things, do not give up hope. If I were you, I'd delete her number (if you have it), do not re-add her on Facebook and do not try and change who you are (by going to the gym etc...) as a way of trying to impress her. 3 years is a long time to like someone without them liking you back. If she doesn't like you by now, the sad thing is I don't think she ever will.

Whatever you do, don't change who you are because one day the right girl will come along and like you for being you (not someone who has spent many years trying to perfect their look for someone else).

All I can say is please move on, one day you'll find that one special girl (not her) and look back and think 'Why did I waste 3 years of my life chasing the WRONG girl, but the right one was staring me point blank in the face?'

You seem like a genuinely nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. I hope you find someone who treats you the way you deserve.

Good luck.