I need advice, do I have a mental disorder?

[falloutboy]

My parents don't believe in mental disorders and they thing the way I act is my own problem.

It's not that I'm lazy, I'm just tired all the time and caffeine has really no effect on my. I admit I have a poor diet but I'm fairly active. It's just that sometimes when I get over 8 hours of sleep I always wake up in the middle of the night.

My parents piss me off (yes I'm 17) and I admit I piss them off too. But sometimes after they get mad at me I feel bad and I do things to make it up to them, but I'm too afraid to because my parents just act mad at me all the time. My parents are really close to each other and me anyways. So sometimes it really bugs me when they just even talk to me because I'm like "why are they trying to talk to me now when you could of". I used to get hit a lot when I was little and screamed at. My dad has a temper problem and it caused me to have a really bad temper problem.

When I get mad or upset, I scream and cry and punch walls and lock myself in my room and then once I'm upset about one thing, I get upset about anything and everything. I have thoughts about suicide and have attempted once. But that's in the past now. I sometimes cut myself though. Not as much as I used to.

I am a very emotional person, but there are some things that people normally mourn over that I don't. Like I have not cried about the sandy hook incident (may those children rest in peace) but ill cry if I see a son and a father hugging on tv. Idk that may just be me.

I'm not very social. I'm really shy and not that good around large groups of people. I cannot talk infront of a large group because I know they are all secretly judging me and then I get paranoid and sometimes have panic attacks. My panic attacks consist of me hyperventilating and feeling nautious and crying and repeating words or phrases constantly like "they did not see that" until I calm down.
I have only a few close friends, but I feel like they all hate me. I hate me. Idk it I need help or not

[falloutboy]

You could suffer from depression try this website and see if you are under depression, answer honestly
http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx

[BLAKE]

Hey man, I know this might sound totally weird, but go ahead and email me "chaoticpeacekeeper12@gmail.com" or shoot me a text at (801) 896-3157 if you have a phone. I was in the same situation as you up until two days ago, and if it's alright with you, I'd like to help you..

[BLAKE]

It's normal to not feel emotional about people in Connecticut whom you do not know personally. What is not normal is the people who have been sucked into the media's playing of that incident like a TV reality show or a soap opera. Give me your reaction any day over my Facebook friends and relatives who act like it happened to them. My own brother was murdered when I was a child, and it is an insult to those of us who have experienced real grief when people vicariously grieve over the media frenzy.

Use this great time of youth when you have more free time than you ever will likely have again to educate yourself and investigate truth. You could try eating better, like you said. Avoid psych meds. St. John's Wort is a herb that is supposed to improve mood.