Leaving an abusive relationship?

[king]

We dated for four years and he was a nightmare. He abused me in every form possible from emotional, to verbal, and physically hitting me or shoving my down stairs, to even kicking me while I was on the floor. Our relationship was always his way. I wasn't allowed to leave the house, wear any light color clothing, or any makeup and I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook or any social media. In the duration of our relationship I've only met two of his friends in the beginning of when we began dating. I lost so much hair and weight that now I'm showing signs of balding and weigh 84 pounds. I broke up with him a month ago because I couldn't deal with his abuse. While I lost all my friends due to him, he went out and partied all night. He lied about where he was and what he was doing. He met up with ex girlfriends and argued with me over the most ridiculous things. I can't stand him and I can't help but hope that he will be miserable in his life.

I know there are SO many people out there much better then him. He thinks he is above everyone for reasons I have yet to find out. I know I'm not going back to him though being with someone for four years is a long time. I know being without him is for the best but I still need help getting over him.

Do you have advice on coping with a break up or stories of your abuser and your success story? I'd love to hear some motivation right now

I'm 20 and he's 21 btw

[(Hk* )]

the only thing thats going to heal it is time and courage.. time to learn how to be alone and be happy and the courage to not ever talk to him and get through it all! dont go back it would be a major mistake its hard because you get so attached to someone whether you like them or not, but that doesnt mean you need to be with him. I would really recommend getting counseling and also be aware of the men you attract/the men your attracted to so you never meet a jerk like him again pay attention to warning signs and react when you know somethings wrong!

[Crystal]

i was in the same boat u were in except i gain like 30 pounds was actually allowed to leave but only with him i know how hard it is to move on especially when even though it was hell u still love them...i found my husband just a month after leaving my ex and he swept me off my feet there is still hope out there so just stay strong keep your head up and things will work out i promise just worry about getting your health back

[GamerChickCamo]

My mom was in an abusive relationship with my dad for 14 years and she finally built up the courage to leave. Its hard to leave out of an abusive relationship.

[Swamp Gator]

I was abused as a child and the men in my life were abusive. My ex had planned to shoot me the day i left him and filed for a divorce. I wasted 18 years with him.

I walked away and got out in the world and amongst people, even when I didn't want to. You need to build your life and do things you might like, even when you just want to dig a hols and crawl in it. Do volunteer work, go to church, take walks, go dancing, bowling, anything to get your mind off him and onto life and living it.

When I was ready to start dating, I did not want another abusive man, I had a lifetime of them. My track record with men was really, really bad. I attracted and was attracted to the abusive kind. I could not trust my judgement. I didn't know what to look for in a man. So I went about it backwards so to speak.

I wrote a list of things I didn't want in a man or a relationship. If I dated a man and saw even one of the things on my list, I walked away and didn't look back. No hesitation, no thoughts, I walked, period.

I net a wonderful man, we are best friends. We really enjoy each others company and companionship. We will soon be celibrating 12 years together and it gets better every day.

O made it out and so can you.

[Carolann H]

Find a shelter for abused women. get into counseling and never never look back!! You deserve so much better and it will find you when you find peace in your life!

[Lulu]

I stayed with my abuser for 18 yrs, never had the courage to speak up for myself, my self esteem went down the drain tht I believed I can't get anybody better than him or wont get nobody's attention.After leaving him I started dating and treated all men like thy r nobody, thy don't hv heart, thy are liars like my Ex, thy r not human period. It took me 4 yrs to realize tht thy r totally like us flesh n bone, heart n tears.
As I was hurt by MAN some of those hurt by WOMAN. I met so many good ppl who r my friends now, I myself is not ready yet for the whole big commitment but dating a guy( still working on my issues). Hope time will heal ur wounds but scar will be there for ever, tht will remind u, ur courage, ur dignity and will make u proud of urself.