My fake girlfriend just died. Please feel sorry for me?

[cause8191]

We met at Stanford a few years ago. . . Wait . . . we never actually met. It was all an online thing. She was my soul mate. I was so depressed that I did not bother to contact her family or go to her funeral.

How can a real person connect with me personally just over the internet? Well, she was my girlfriend, and now she's dead. Now I am stupid and sad.

Seriously, can you have an online girlfriend/boyfriend without ever meeting in person? Is "meeting" online really meeting? How could someone be so stupid?
If you hadn't noticed, this is supposed to be satirical. Has anyone been watching the news?
Judging from the reactions I am getting, and since nobody here seems to be catching my drift, the real story that I am making fun of can be considered even more ridiculous.

[Tidus]

a lot of people have relationships on Facebook and yet never met.

[ashley]

You are not stupid you are just shy and dont know how to approach women. It is a lot easier online because you think about what you want to say whereas in real life you are expected to have an answer immediately. Just try making small talk with people, not just women to gain confidence. Eventually you will be able to talk to women and have a real girlfriend.

[Holden]

That's just sad. Unless it's like that thing in napolean dynamite, you're just low!

[Julia]

You shouldn't go to the funeral most online relationship are fake

[HA.]

Is this serious? cos if not it's not funny.

If so.. Then you must be very very confused right now. Just because you never met in person, it doesn't mean it doesn't have a strong impact on you.

I would fly out to see her funeral, if only to be a witness and to get some closure. Maybe you can introduce yourself to the family (depending on if they know about you or not). Maybe just say you knew her from college since it might be a hard time for the family to start learning new things about their daughter's life.

Or you can just be anonymous.

I hope you allow yourself to grieve. This will be hard for you, online relationships may be fake, but they have big impacts.

[Snowpuppy14]

You ask for pity? Interesting.
Well I'm sorry dear person...and may I ask how did you know she died?
I know it felt good to know someone cares for you but don't worry you'll find another special girl...
Hope you feel better ^-^

[HotterThanWasabi]

Hm. This is an interesting topic you bring up. It questions whether or not you can have an intimate connection/relationship with someone technically "virtual". In fact, in the near future, our technology may be advanced enough to create virtual online "dates," and the one you're "dating" isn't real. That would be something, although you believe it to be real, you are really just talking to a computer. But that's if you look at it from a 3D physical perspective. Some people may go so far as to say love is just a virus stimulated by brain receptors that give the "feeling" of being in love. Personally I believe it to be something deeper than that, a lesson that everyone has to learn, doesn't matter how it comes or what it is, it matters if you are able to let go and move on.
I mean sure you might meet someone totally cool on Omegle, that best friend type that seems to have everything you have, do everything you do, make the same jokes, but turns out he lives halfway across America. So what do you do? Say goodbye and disconnect. You're gonna have to sooner or later. You can even be friends on Facebook. But how much different would that be from Omegle? It's just another way of sending letters, physical packages meant to contain an array of emotions to be stimulated by the brain, much like a book or a tv show.
Now it gets interesting. Let's say you go so far as to arrange a meeting with the person. You might meet them once, but you HAVE to go back to where you both came from! But let's say you move next to the person. You still have gaps of time where you aren't with them. Let's say you move IN with the person. Great you'll be with them all the time. But for what? Even that doesn't last, either something will happen in your lifetime or his/hers, something that will separate you two, most likely death.
Now life is set up in this sort of way for a reason. It may sound grotesque and unbecoming of a beautiful and forgiving "God" for you religious people out there, but in reality that is just a social construct, the construct that death is the end, death is separation, when in fact everyone is connected on a level that most of us don't understand yet are a part of.
Look at the stars sometime, sit there and think about it for a little, how big the universe is, the size of it comparing to the Earth. In fact, trillions and trillions of Earths could fit in one of those stars in our Milky Way right now, and millions in the Sun. And there is an INFINITE amount of space in the Universe. So, what are we? Nothing if someone the size of the universe held the galaxy in their hand like a marble. We are, in fact, part of a ginormous system that, until we learn how to search within ourselves and discover the values of responsibility that comes with power, we can be in control of.
Remember, it's only the fact that things can be seen so close that makes it seem so large.
Hopefully this made you forget about what happened to you for a bit. Honestly, although it looks like I may have gotten off topic, I really haven't. This is life. So just go with the flow, because in all sense that's all that anyone should do.

[Skylark ♥]

'o'mg, I'm so sorry your fake girlfriend has finally kicked the bucket. She heroically battled fake leukemia, pulled her own mangled body out of a fake car accident, and triumphed over every soap operaesque tragedy that came her way, then got cancer again and fake died. There was a lot of fake n bake to the story but I'm sure some of the fake love was really real. Sureee. On the plus side, the winter months tend to dry out your eyes, so you've now sufficiently lubricated them with all the drops used during photo ops to make it look like you've been crying. Or maybe they were just the tears of a clown??? Hmm.

Fret not, your fake girlfriend is resting in peace with other heartwarming fictional heroines of social media, like Beth, aka "iDream" who managed to fool hundreds (no joke) of people on Y!A that she was being put to sleep at 17 like an old, wounded Greyhound because her "AML Leukemia" had taken a turn for the worse and there was no hope for her, and she had to give her final goodbyes on the internet because her parents were stationed in Iraq and denied permission to return to the bedside of their dying daughter.

~ skylark : )

PS
People, Google Manti Te'o.