Help Writing A Facebook Post Please?

[E.R.A.D]

So, I've fucked up. A lot. And I'm done with it but I'm still getting a bunch of shit on facebook for an accident i was recently in because I was got in the car with a drunk driver and almost died. I no longer drink and will NEVER get in the car with someone who has been drinking again. But I really just want people to lay off for all the bullshit I've done. Granted I'm still smoking and what not, I'm not making the same poor decisions. I'm young and I understand what damage I can do to my body and I'm tired of everyone telling what a "fuck up" I am. I honestly just sit at home and smoke, that's it. Never even been to a party, although I do go to raves and concerts and what not.
So if anyone could help write a long-ish meaningful status for me based on those guidelines that would be amazing. Thank you (:
Sorry this question kind of jumps around a bit.
I'm looking for something along the lines of "lay off i know i messed up"

[Deepak]

Here it goes:

"Dear Friends
Never drink and drive is an old thing. Never share a cab with a drunk driver. He may land up you in hell. I did, but because of my stupid questions in hell as well, i was thrown back to earth as earth has yahoo answers for asking stupid questions. Please DO NOT SHARE CAB WITH A DRUNK DRIVER.
Sincerely
Reincarnated asshole"

Hope this helps

Cheers!

[Md. Kamruzzaman]

Urgent.

[Emily]

How about something like this:

To everybody out there who feels the need to judge me: I messed up. I did something I shouldn't have done. There were consequences for my actions. I have learned from those actions. Believe it or not, I am NOT perfect. Now, this may come as a shock to some of you, but its the truth. And while we're going for shock value here, NEITHER ARE YOU. We all make mistakes, and we all must own up to them and move on accordingly. I've moved on, now its your turn.