What is wrong with me ?

[Jarvis Payton]

For some reason I am always in a pondering like state all the time . I ask myself questions like is there a god , whats is the point of doing anything , and why are we as humans here . My peers say my mind is older than i , im 16 by the way . For examples i feel that teenage fashion is so stupid , its just a bunch of dumb ass trends that will look straight up foolish on any one that is older than 18 , mainstream music has no artistic value , especially rap , and the whole facebook twitter thing is a bunch of wasted life . I also dont have a life , i never go out on weekends because it seems like outside of school im not hangout material . Im not in any activites or groups . I feel as though i dont have any real interests , i play guitar , but its hard finding enjoyment in it .Family life is not really that great either i dont have a large group of relatives to rely on its just my mom , grand ma , and dad . Well id say i dont really have that my dad and i have had a terrible realtionship for a very loang time , i some what depise my grandmother , and my mom is always nagging me and just doesnt understand when i try to vent to her about my feelings .School blows im in a couple of ap/gifted classes , which im glad cause i hated the crowd in the regular ed classes , but its seems ive lost my motivation to work hard in school . Oh yeah and im a black boy in the Geaogia who talks proper , but sense its somewhat bad for me to do this im considered a white even though im clearly darker than a lot of my people .With girls i talk to them and greatly believe i could get one to go out with me , but teenage girls get on my fucking nerves . Whats your take on all this ?

[Daniel]

First of all, there's nothing wrong with you. I think the exact same way that you do from time to time, and I'm 13 years old. Everyone thinks in they're own way; everyone's different from everyone else, otherwise a world with the exact same people everywhere would be rather boring. I think it just means that you're analizing life in a way you didn't look at it before and you're just wondering what's the purpose. Everyone does from time to time. You'll probably get over it eventually and you'll go back to your old self.

[Ghostwriter]

For someone who supposedly "talks proper" I could barely make head or tail of that paragraph. What I could gather though is you may be depressed. It could help to talk to a school counselor to sort through these things and figure out what is making you this jaded at this point in your life.

[araktsu]

Read this book:
"How To Enjoy Your Life In Spite Of It All" by Ken Keyes Jr.

You have started with the assumption that there is something wrong with you. That is not a good start. You are what you are, the judgment is completely arbitrary.

Try this:

Your perceptions and desires are products of conditioning and other sentient experience you have acquired up to this point in life. You can change the contents of your mind, and you can shape your mind to be pro-social, rational, and smarter, too. (That task is part of what is called mental development and, in my opinion, requires a long-term commitment to high quality self-education about the natural world, one’s place in nature, and the history of the evolution of the real world including the life on it.)

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

Consciousness is a function of a cognitive neural network processing both sensory data and memory. Sentient experience can be subjectively deconstructed into four foundations of mindfulness:

1.Mindfulness of body.
2.Mindfulness of sensation as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral (physical sensation).
3.Mindfulness of state of mind (attitude, emotion).
4.Mindfulness of content of mind (ideas, learned skills, memory, mental images, beliefs).

For about 20 minutes twice a day:

Sit in a comfortable position, legs crossed and back erect if possible, and with as little noise and distraction as possible. Focus your mind only on your breathing, counting mentally “1 in, 1 out, 2 in, 2 out, 3 in …” and so on for a cycle of four or five breaths.

As you do this there will be the usual background of a continuous stream of thoughts, random or specific ideas, and images, feelings that come and go. Any of these can distract you, but you can just ignore them. There is no need to suppress any of it; your brain normally processes information via random association or cognitive models you have acquired either on purpose or by random experience. These are the things that usually drive your perceptions and behavior, even your dreams.

[Mike M]

Sounds like your an "old soul".