How To Convince My Mom To Let Me Have A Facebook?

[Oh Meh Glob]

I'm 13 years I just turned 13 a month ago. I really want really bad. I haven't asked her since a couple years though. Once I did go behind her back and made one and haven't asked her since. I have good grades and about 90% of the class has one. I'm just dying to have one! Help me! My mom has always been cautious about the internet not being safe etc. She doesn't even allow me to go anywhere without her knowing my friends. Just Help Me Please!!

[Ringking]

Tell her your the only person in the civilized western world that doesnt have a Facebook account, becasue you wouldn't be far off the mark. Hell, my grandmother has one...

[Don F]

Your mother is just trying to protect you! I'm sure of it!!

[Mujer Alta]

This is the time when you have to be the adult. You are your mom's most precious possession and she's protecting you. You have to understand that your mom was your age once but the world was different then. Just like you can't crawl into your mom's head and truly understand her or the old world she grew up in, she can't crawl into your head and truly understand you and the new world you live in. She's very worried for your safety. And probably rightly so. She wants to be able to know what you're doing. This is soooo normal for parents!

You need to sit down calmly (no whining and no begging:-) and have a heart-to-heart about your having a Facebook account. You know that your mom isn't going to suddenly say that you can have an account so settle down, don't make excuses and listen to you mom and, instead of arguing your reasons, try to bring up some solutions to the problems she's imagining. Some things need to be negotiated and you mom needs to be assured that you're not going to huddle in your room talking with perverts and child slave traders. First and foremost, your mom has to be the first friend you accept so she has access. This is non-negotiable right now. As you get older and she gets tired of the boring "kid talk", she'll give you more freedom. The minute she's cut out of any part of your life, your life is over. (This is how it was for most of us when we were teens so don't feel bad.) Secondly, you need to agree to limit your Facebook time. Some people get addicted to it, can't leave it alone, have to update and post photos and, when they're away from their Timeline for 30 seconds, they begin to feel the strong pull of needing to go there to see if anyone's posted something. Nope. This kind of behavior, besides being bad for you, will have your mother pulling the plug on your computer. See, from your mom's point of view, it's better to not even start a Facebook account than have to stop a Facebook account. You have to agree that, if your mother has any problem whatsoever with your being on Facebook, that what she says goes - with no tears, no whining, no arguments from you.

Both of you have to know what the other expects, what the no-no's are and what the consequences are. Write out a contract that both of you sign and date.

Most importantly, when does the contract take effect? Is there a trial period? How long is the trial period? Can you agree to a trial period? Can you accept the fact that your mother needs to know that you are safe?

[Todd]

Given how badly you want it without a better reason than "90% of the class has one" makes me think I would pause before allowing you to have one too. Think about it. What _good_ is a facebook presence? I'm an adult and do just fine without one. Facebook is still a joke right now anyway with only a hint of any real utility. It has little to no added value whatsoever.

Mark my word, 10 years from now, people will be trying to rid the internet of their personal information, not purposefully make it known.

Cripes. My parents didn't let me leave the block alone when I was in first grade when other kids could, but I didn't go whining about it. Show some maturity and have a little patience, and then maybe your mom will think you've grown up enough to start making mistakes (permanent mistakes, btw) in plain view of millions of others.