If a close friend doesnt want to talk about a problem with you, does that mean you guys arent that close?

[i]

Its kind of long but I really want advice and opinions about this. Thanks in advance.

I have this friend and me & him are very close. We've been friends since we were 16 and now we're 21. We've had problems such as arguments and fights but we've always remain close, sometimes after a period of time apart. When it comes to secrets, we tell each other everything. Recently he brought up an issue that I heard about with him and a girl. I didnt hear what it was just heard he was really sad about losing a friend and he didnt know who to call at the time so he took it to twitter to vent because he wanted sympathy from anyone. When I ask the girl name he told me and I ask what happen he kept saying he dont remember it was so long ago maybe a year ago he dont remember. I knew he was lying because it wasnt long ago it was about a month ago so i said that to him. So i ask what happen and he kept saying he dont remember. I kept asking him to talk about it but he kept saying he dont remember. So I ask is it because you dont want to tell me and he said "its not that i just dont remember. If i remember i will tell you". So after me asking a bunch of questions trying to get him to say it, the last thing I said was "is it complicated?" and he said yeah so I said "ok i'll leave it alone". At the time, i kind of took offense because usually we talk about our problems like its nothing, I mean we tell each other EVERYTHING. So i figured maybe he doesnt trust me anymore or whatever. On the other hand, I figured maybe its still something that hes hurt about and not ready to talk about, even if it was a month ago and he dont want to relive the pain which made me feel a little bad that I kept trying to force himt o talk about it. The reason I did that was because the way he said "I dont remember" sound like he do just dont want to talk about it because he's really hurt and I love the guy like a brother and dont like seeing him hurt. So my question to you readers is, does this mean we arent as close as I thought or its normal for two friends who are very close like family to sometimes not want to speak about a problem right there? Any advice and/or opinions are welcome. Even constructive criticism just dont be disrespectful

[lexi c]

I personally think that him not wanting to tell u something doesn't mean that u two arnt close. It just means he just doesn't want to tell u something. Don't take it personel its ok, u two are still friends.
But if u keep asking and bugging about the topic, your ganna push him away.

[¡Sarita!]

It's normal to have things that you don't want to tell to even your CLOSEST friends. It has nothing to do with trust or not being as close as you thought. It would be UNHEALTHY if we didn't have SOME things that we kept to ourselves. It's possible he really doesn't remember, or maybe he only remembers bits and pieces. It's also possible that he is just not ready yet, and plans to tell you eventually, but he has to think about what he wants to say. When you have something really bad happen to you, unless someone was there to witness it with you, it can be hard to explain without confusing others or even yourself. You might get confused on the details, so something you say might not make sense, or maybe you are trying to explain your emotions and can't because the emotions are so deep that words cannot describe them accurately. Sometimes people just want to vent about stuff at the time about being upset but they don't want to actually open up and talk to someone about it. Maybe he just wants to forget about it and move on. And there is nothing wrong with that. He may have found away to express his feelings without telling anyone. Like writing it down in a letter and burning it, or going to some isolated area on his own, like some quiet pond or something, where he could talk it out with himself. Either way, you should always be respectful of his privacy. I would let this one go and forget about it. He isn't trying to send a message to you that he doesn't trust you or that he wants to hurt you by not telling you everything. He simply wants to keep it to himself, for whatever his reasons are. You shouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you have things that you don't tell anyone, I doubt you have shared ALL your life experiences with him. Just be there for him when he needs you, if he wants to talk, then let him, just listen and don't keep bringing it up, he will if and when he is ready! If he does seem to want to tell you just listen and be very respectful before bugging him about it. It's ok to ask him "what's wrong? are you ok?" when he is clearly upset, but if he says he doesn't want to talk about him, don't push him til he snaps, just tell him that if he ever wants to talk you are there to listen and you won't push him to talk if he doesn't want to. Good luck, life is tough, but I think everything will turn out well and be just fine!