I've done something stupid on the internet? Thoughts?

[Key]

You can call me messed up or unstable, but it's an issue I've had with myself that's got me into this big mess that I've put an end to, but I don't know if I'm safe or at risk.

Basically I have transgender problems and I have had these for nearly three years now, I am finding ways to dampen the powerful emotions of wanting to be the opposite sex by trying to find ways of understanding and expressing it more. But this scrap I got myself into is just plainly criminal but justifiable. It's made my mind in such a wreck that I now feel ashamed and angered about these emotions and that's a good thing because they're now going away.

I'm now finding ways to ignore them and put myself off them. You may think what I'm doing is denial, but I don't care about "Being who you are", you can be whoever you want to be even if it hurts and dealing with what hurts is a great rewarding challenge and I'm not going to let nature try and win over me and consume me.

These emotions got to me so much that like I've said it got me into a big scrap. I basically pretended to be a girl on the internet and it was one of the most fun things I'd ever done. I understood what went on in a women's mind and I was surprised at how similar I was to them. I felt like in some aspects I was more real than ever.

But then I got into a relationship with this guy and it got quite sexual, we started having roleplay relationships and eventually he wanted to see a photo of me. Of course since I wasn't biologically a girl and didn't have the resources to crossdress I couldn't. In the end I just nabbed a picture of a hot girl off some blog and he believed me at first but it became obvious it was fake,

He has no idea but at that point I knew the game was up and I terminated all the accounts that had the female identity I had created of myself without messaging him and not only him but I had all these friends as well who all treated me as a girl and I acted nice and stereotypical and I did a really good realistic job at it. But now that I've terminated my identity they're talking behind my back of how they miss me.

I was considering telling him I was transgender but it's extremely likely he wouldn't understand and would take it the wrong way so I just feel some things are just better left unsaid.

I am fine as of now and don't have any worries, I must hope the unlikely off-chance doesn't happen when they find out my ip or something like that and figure out my make identity I have on the internet.

I understand what I've done has been partly wrong but it's for my own good and I've decided to take revenge on my transgenderism but finding better things to desire. I hate my true form, I want to be the person who I want to be and I can do just that for I am no weakling to what my mind wants me to be.

[sewrobb]

You can't change who or what you are so be as you want to be
and to hell with everyone else thinks.

If your outright honest with people they then can either accept you
as you are or not.

Instead of pandering to the likes of FB get out and meet others of
your kind.

You can communicate a lot better face to face instead of through
a keyboard on some silly social site