Facebook inbox Ruined my Relationship: Am I Overreacting?

[Dominique]

Ok, here's the story. We were together for a little over a year as we broke up this past weekend due to following my womanly instinct. The first incident which sparked my curiosity was one afternoon I was at work and received an email with an attachment, which happened to be a text message from a girl he works with and she claimed they had been intimate for 6 months before she found out about me by asking around. I confronted him and he denied it and said that she is crazy and that he would be telling their Chief (they're both in the Military) to get her trouble. I forgave this incident but had questions in the back of my mind because he simply wouldn't explain how she got my email. I found out through her email what her name was and remembered him telling me when a female friend's car broke down he took her to work and back, and this was month's prior at which I recalled her name and it was the same girl.
Forward to this past Saturday while he was on base for reserve weekend I logged onto his computer and I will admit I logged into his FB account and checked his inbox. The main reason for this is because he has been adamant about us NOT being FB friends and I never knew why but didn't press the issue as he likes to argue more than talk.
Once I clicked on his inbox I saw not one but several messages from women and they were extremely flirtatious. One involved a girl he recently picked up for a date and kept her out all night long and she stated very intimate things she would love to do to him. Others were him complimenting their body parts and stating how much he missed them, and calling some his 'boo.'
Now he has to deploy to Cuba this Fall and in one message he asked a girl to fly down while he's there and she declined as she stated she is engaged.
I confronted him and asked him to pack and leave once home as we lived together. His reserve buddy and his wife helped him pack and leave.
He admitted he was wrong and that he loves me and I will admit that we were great together and he helped out whenever needed, but I was deeply hurt by what I read in his FB inbox.
Today as he began reaching out to me he stated that he was just testing one female and that it's only flirting so why am I bitching over the small things.
I told him that if that were me he would have a heart attack.
He then said he was going to 'surprise' me with a FB request. I blew this off as BS as he loves to turn things around and call me insecure and crazy.
I know I was wrong for going into his FB but I had to know because I just had this gut instinct since he is CONSTANTLY staying in touch with female friends that he never tells about me.
Granted his immediate family and mines knew about us but when it came to his FB circle he appears as a single man.
Now I miss him and love him but I cannot let him think this was okay by taking him back like he wants.
Please help!!!

Hurt and Embarrased

[bluasakura]

Um, wow, now you can take him back which is up to you. But I want to say you might be a sucker and here's why. One, he's manipulating you trying to call you names like you're crazy. Two, he said it was just flirtation? Oh jeeze. Who is he trying to kid? He is addicted to this interest women have in him, such as all these other "friends" he has hidden from you, and he'll probably never stop. Three, there is nothing you can get from him by way of assurances he'll stop but his own word which he's already shown he's untrustworthy.

If you take him back you are going to be a sucker unless you draw a line. Like you will be stupid if you take him back and not ask for account info and ask for full transparency. FB is a pain in the butt, if he would have put in a relationship with... and then you... they still would have maybe done that and tried flirting with him to get him in trouble.

[Lindsay]

You're not overreacting at all!! I think you're under reacting actually, but then again I can be a bit rash...I definitely don't think you should get back together!! He lied to you and had been from the beginning what with not letting you see his Facebook! You were very smart in checking his inbox. Don't let this slut of a man control you! Get away from him as fast as you can!!!

[john]

STICK TO YOUR GUNS....
He is a cheater and ALWAYS WILL BE. I am telling you to go with your guts. People are so into social media that they just don't know what a real relationship is. Sometimes doing what everybody else is doing is not the way to go. Be different and get a new group of people to hang with. Sorry. I'm blunt.