would mean a lot if someone would give me 5 minutes to help me with this problem please?

[heartbroken gal]

Me and my boyfriend are together a year and living together a month. We had a long distant relationship but I found a job and moved in with him and his family. Before this we had a 2 month split but when we got back I moved in straight away. In the beginning everything was great but then we started fighting a lot like every day. I used to smother him I suppose as I knew no one else and wanted him to be with me all the time. So we went away last week for 2 days but he never came near me (sex wise) and i got upset and we had a row on friday and then he ended it he said we were going round in circles and he wasnt happy he just had enough and told me it was over. I ended up staying in a hotel sunday night and it got messy in his house. Yesterday morning I was back in the house and we watched telly in the back sitting room together we lied with our feet across each other and got on fine. Then he went to work and text me saying he is only saying this once that he loved me so much and it killed him seeing me so upset yesterday he said we need space for a few weeks but will still remain friends during that time, he said he would consider things again if things changed for good if we got on better and I got a life outside of him not to be depending on him he also said to get a place near him to live and that he didn't want me to hassle him about it and not to rush it but he will let me know when he's ready to start seeing me again. last night we slept in the same bed and he put his arm around me and held my hand for a few minutes before going to sleep he also gave me a hug before i went to work this morning. Firstly I would like to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and what he means by that text? im cautious he may be only saying this to me as he feels sorry for me after leaving my family friends and job to move to him and he having to kick me out although he said he wasnt and he did mean it? from the text does it sound like he does still want me? do you think he wants to try again when things settle down and i get my own independance? secondly he is hanging around with his sleazy mate a lot lately i mean he goes to his house every chance he gets and his mate would get up on anything. im worried he may follow suit. and im also worried as he does be chatting girls on twitter although he says its only for banter he has never met them. thirdly because we didnt work out living together does thismean we may never live together again or just not now until were ready? please let them not be too negative, can this relationship be salvaged and am i worrying about nothing?

[Neel]

Ok, it sounds like it got a bit intense too quickly.... my advice would be to give it space for a while. Do the things you enjoy and hang out with your friends for a while so you can get some perspective.

[GirlieGirl]

I believe that your relationship could be salvaged with time. It sounds like he is just feelings a bit overwhelmed and needs some time to think things through a little more. Just relax and have patience with him is what he wants right now, not to move from point A to point Z at lightspeed. I think that you were moving a little too fast for him.

Just have some time to yourself and when he is ready again he will let you know, plus he will appreciate the fact that you were so patient with him.

Hope I helped!

[Jess]

sounds like the guy love you and is testing you to see if you can sacrifice a little. don't be so pushy and freak out just cuz he does not want to hang out. he loves you you just got to give him some space

[ScienceGal]

It is possible that you can salvage the relationship. Both people have to want it. It appears that you want it- he may want it too. He might just be testing you, it depends on his personality.

Some men do like their space, and living together can be stressful if it's at someone's parents house.
Getting your own place sounds good, it will make you more independent, which will help him see you as something other than desperate. Guys do get turned off by "smothering" when they see it that way.


I guess it's a chance to prove how mature and self-reliant you are. Trust me, living on your own is very fun.

Your boyfriend may have commitment issues/fears. He might just be testing you. He may be influenced by his parents or the sleazy friend. You would probably get hints of that though. Do you think any of them dislike you?
It's hard to say, but if you see him try to pick up on subtle hints, and try to seem as mature and calm as possible.

[Toughjoke814]

>Before this we had a 2 month split but when we got back I moved in straight away.
.
*Alarm bells*
Not the wisest thing to do. Also - a long distance relationship is completely different to "moving in with his family."
To be honest - now - you should give him the space he asks for. You need it too. It does not help that he is sending mixed messages by saying he "wants space" and then being intimate with you. *You* should put a stop to that.
After that - time will tell...

[Abigail Mcintosh]

TBH (to be honest) it sounds like he is quite confused. I think you guys should take a break, maybe try seeing other people in that time.

It also seems to me that he might be kind of playing you. DON'T GET PISSED. it's just he say's he wants a break and you two should be apart one day and then the next day he's hugging you and holding hands. So to me it seems a bit like he's playing you.

Maybe you should tell him how you feel, if he doesn't like it he ain't worth you getting upset over. Good Luck you deserve more happiness than this.