Why Did He Go Cold After Dumping Me?

[Rehema Zakari]

From the beginning he wanted to have sex with me without a relationship. I'm still a virgin and never had an intimate relationship so I didn't know what I was doing. Every time we hung out he suggested sexual stuff in the strangest of places (a storm drain, his parent's car, behind my house) and I said no to them all, that mixed with the fact it took him six days to initiate contact with me I constantly questioned if he really liked me like he claimed or was just using me. He even told me at the basest idea this was just something for him to do while he waited to be deployed in the military. Everytime we tried to do stuff, I got cold feet and only did oral or the last time, he couldn't get an erection. i suggested we stop planning and he freaked out and said he was done trying to convince me he was real and we should end it there and even when I started crying he just said "okay goodbye". He was always sarcastic and making things to be completely my fault and when I tried to apoligize he said I needed to give him some space. Its been a month now of now contact and I let him run all over me and blame everything on me....Why did he treat me this way? Was I that annoying? I left him alone, didn't defame him on facebook, but now I can't stop thinking about him and my parents laugh at me and say don't be a stalker and all this stuff. What do I do?
He told me before "I do like you, its just the worst time for me to have a girlfriend, I'm in the middle of an important decision"

[JL]

He does not claim to like you. He wants sex. You are not only a virgin (nothing wrong with that) but you are incredibly naive, and that is dangerous for you.

[386]

He didn't dump you. By your own admission you were never really in a relationship, he made that very clear from the outset. As much as you might wish it was otherwise, or find that your feelings for him were very real, he didn't give you any false hope. He explained he was biding his time before being deployed, and was only interested in having sex, but not a relationship.
He has been very unkind to you, treating you dismissively and making you feel bad.
This isn't about you; it's about him. He wasn't ready for a relationship, he didn't have the love to give. We cannot make of someone what we wish they would be.
You have done a wonderful job of maintaining your dignity by refusing to vent on a social networking site. Not many young women or even those of a 'should know better' age can refrain from leaving those pathetic 'woe is me' cryptic little memes and messages when they really ought to. All semblance of class goes out the window as they go into drama queen mode. Well done you for not being one of 'those'.
Your parents are right, though, as parents tend to be!
You have to get him out of your system. No looking at his profile page, no wasting mental and emotional energy on such an unworthy target, rehashing in your own head what went wrong. I think in your head, if not your heart, you know this guy wasn't good for you, or for any girl really. Let it go, be good and gentle to yourself, and make a deliberate effort to mix with other people and spend time doing things you love.