Is the following sentence grammatically correct (punctuations etc)? if not can you please correct it?

[stopwatch]

It would be an overstatement if someone says that nowadays people, especially young people reside more in a virtual society, which is made of social media, rather than in the real world.

[Chris Perry]

"It would be an overstatement if someone said that nowadays people, especially young people, reside in a virtual society, which is made of social media, rather than in the real world."

This would be correct, if a bit comma-heavy, or you could use the following:

"It would be overstating to say that people these days, especially young people, reside in a virtual society of social media rather than the real world."