I'm relapsing after leaving a bad relationship. Please help me.?

[Jacob]

I was once in a very bad relationship. It was all one way, she was a liar, a cheater and a manipulator to the point where a trusted friend called it an emotional abusive relationship. It took me a long time to realise this or admit it, I still don’t know which one even today, and say goodbye to her. I cut her out of my life, burned and deleted photos, deleted number , blocking her from all forms of social media. Everything. And I was happy. It was hard for the first few days but I felt light. I felt as if I didn’t have this thing weighing me down. I was happy. I became more productive, my family life improved, i was less angry and frustrated, my schoolwork improve. My life had turned around. Even when I ran into her at the shops, it was fine. I wasn’t heartbroken or felt anything. I just asked how she was saying then left, needing to be somewhere else. And I loved that. I loved not only getting drawn back but the fact that I was the one walking away leaving her behind. That was three months ago and since then things have changed.
It started off when I dreamt my best mate was having sex with her and I was so angry with him for dragging her back into my life. And I know it was just a dream but since then, she’s all I can think about. I’m feeling heartbroken, I want to see her, I want to be with her. I’ve regressive, I’m at square one again.

And the one person who I can open to, I’m afraid to tell her this. She has helped me so much in the year that we’ve known each other. She was the one that pushed me to say goodbye, the one that helped me with my family, who gave me a direction that I want to follow in life and I don’t want to disappoint her. I don’t want to be that boy again who she sat down with after class and said “you need someone to listen. What’s wrong?”.

And it’s so much worse because I came through the other side. I’ve tasted freedom, I was happy and I’m being dragged back. And I don’t want to be, I’ve been there I don’t want to go back. I’m tired. I’ve been through this, I’ve suffered, I’ve been heartbroken and I don’t want to do this. It just seems that no matter what I do, she's always got control of me. I just want to be happy. I’m just tired. Please help.
I forgot to say this but after the dream I ran into her again. And it wasn't like the other times. I wanted to keep talking, and I felt heartbroken when she left. She was the one that ended that conversation just leaving me like she used to feeling sick. I felt sick after that.

[LoveHopes&Dreams]

Your feeling this way because your afraid she will move on to someone. And to make it worse someone you know.

However. To prevent yourself from relapsing remember everything she did and the reason you ended the relationship in the first place.

Remember that the relationship was not healthy and since you broke up with her your life has become better.

Continue doing what you were doing before. Focus in yourself and making yourself a better person.

Realise that you are a good person and deserve to be treated with respect and to be in a healthy relationship with Someone that treats you right and is faithful.

[Stacy Roth]

You need to move on. If it is not meant to be it will not be. Your true one is out there, you just need to let your mind/heart out of what it was in and move on. Try going out and meeting other people. Try helping with social events, church activities, going out with friends, etc. This will help you meet people. Do not be blocked off and make sure you socially try to get to know other girls. Make sure to not talk about the last girlfriend when around others and that will help you forget and move on.