I'm still upset at this guy, should I talk to him?

[Luke D.]

I met a guy through a dating app, call him Larry. We decided to just be friends after getting to know each other a little. Though we kept making plans, he kept disappearing. I was dating other people and one, call him Bob, was getting really possessive and just all around freaking me out. So I ended it with that guy.

Turns out Larry was on the app making up a bunch of trash about me to Bob. I thought we were on friendly terms because there was never any kind of drama. Larry freaked out on me and called me a liar and did everything he could to expose me--since not everyone knows I'm gay. I had to close my Facebook because he linked phony pictures to it (which came up in a Google search), change my number because he gave it out on the dating app (and kept harassing me for months), and even found my address and left me letters on my door. I moved out of my own condo for a couple months and even tried to file a restraining order.

I decided to just let it go and if it bothered me a few months later, I'd revisit the situation. But it's been quite for awhile, no word from Bob, and... I still want to know 1) why he would make stuff up about me when I never did anything to him, and 2) what he said. It messed up my life for awhile. I know Bob's version of what Larry said, but it's all so bizarre I don't know what to make of it. When I asked Larry he denied it and then blocked me. So, after Bob found out where I lived, I sent Larry a letter telling him I wasn't angry, I just needed to know what Bob was talking about. He didn't respond. The only problem: I only know where Larry works, not where he lives. He's a restaurant manager. Everyone tells me I have to right to know and some wonder why I haven't gone down the Larry's restaurant and kicked his ass. Some days I feel like going in there and asking and think that is sometimes the only way I'll ever get closure.

Any advice?

[Julian]

I think you do have the right to know. I mean thats kinda messed up that he turned around and stabbed you in the back. I think you should go talk to him and ask why did he do that and what did you to him that made him tell Bob all that Jazz.

Hope that helps.

Need anything, don't be afraid to ask.