I think my father is having a mental breakdown. Help?

[Meredith]

My mother and father separated six years ago, after a thirteen year "relationship." They never loved each other, but they loved me, and they were too poor to think about separating. Now, six years from now, my father is living with his mother/my grandmother, and I am living with my mother. I have no siblings that live with me.

Three weeks ago my mother took a trip to somewhere in Texas (I don't want to divulge as to what city) under the alias that she would be going to one of her favorite bands concerts. When she came back, she told me that was a ruse to protect me, and instead that she went to see a new boyfriend she met on Twitter. She still hadn't told our relatives and my father, for fear that if the relationship didn't work, they might get to like the guy, and then it would be over.

She accidentally told them through Facebook, and now my relatives feel a little odd over it, like me. I don't really know what to think; after six years, my mother accidentally found a boyfriend? She wasn't planning on meeting anyone.

But, that's not the problem. The problem is that I seriously think my father is having a breakdown. He smokes (cigarettes and marijuana) an drinks heavy liquor, and he has almost no friends. That is bad enough, plus with his anger streak and horrible memory, he really thinks my mother cannot be trusted, and that she used him for money years ago, to pass through college and get her graduates degree. Now my grandmother says he talks to himself, smokes and drinks more than ever, and he keeps murmuring to himself about how my mother is "going to run off to Texas". He even listened in on a phone conversation between my mother and my grandma, standing in the dark, by himself. I had a recent conversation with him over the phone, about how I feel. (in very frank terms. I know, not a good plan, but I wanted to get it all out as soon as possible, like ripping off a band-aid.) After that, he "gifted" me on Steam with the new Elder Scrolls game, Skyrim. Then he said that he was an a hole and that he's sorry he hurt me so much. I'm seriously starting to think that he's going insane! I don't know what to do, tell the authorities and get him sent to a rehab or mental house, when I know those aren't good places; or just let him live with my grandmother and scare her to death every day! What should I do?

[Perfection Queenie]

take him to rehab asap, marijuana changes your mind state,I'm sure if he has had a mental breakdown then there's no way to change how he thinks, he's probably over your mom now and doesn't care about anything anymore.
That's what happened to my ex when he started doing marijuana he was so inconsiderate to me, wouldn't listen to nobody and then pins things on me and tells me my problems.

[Reagan]

He sounds like he has an addiction to alcohol/drug addiction and he is showing signs of this my partner done all the things you have said but he went to see the doctor and got referred to an alcohol/drug addiction clinic he went for the assessment but did not want to be put in the clinic so he gradually weaned himself away from the addiction and is doing fine that was 2 years ago now. Alcohol can change peoples personality's it can drive you crazy if you abuse it e.g anger,standing in the dark listening, paranoia so i don't think your father needs to be sectioned in a mental institution but should see an addiction counselor as it sounds like alcohol has got a grip on him you wouldn't believe how an alcohol addiction can sneak up on you and get a grip also smoking marijuana really makes you paranoid and a cocktail of the two is double the trouble.

[Nacht]

I don't think it's a "breakdown," so much as your dad has become addicted to alcohol and it's the substance abuse affecting his mental state. He probably does need rehab, as much non-fun as it is. The thing is, and this is the part you probably are not going to want to hear: unless he's posing an obvious danger to himself or your grandmother, you can't force him to go.

[anonymous]

Forget about all these drug addiction excuses. Alcohol is an exception in this case if he has increased consumption. He has a terrible time letting go of the past. Obviously. He needs help. Your grandmother should not have to put up with this sort of behavior. Trouble is, he would need to WANT to get help. Otherwise, it wouldn't do any good. An intervention may work, guided by a professional, and including more of his family and friends. An anger streak would require anger management courses. These can be court ordered if he were to commit a crime that is anger-based.
Best of luck to you!