How can I tell her I don't want to be friends?

[Cassie]

Hi everyone,

I have this "friend" but I have really gone off her. She is annoying and tries to act 'tough' by swearing. She also constantly whines to my best friend and about how much her mother receives in benefits and how she spends it. Personally I don't think she should be even telling us this. She also writes things on Facebook saying (and bragging) that she is having panic attacks when me and my friend know for a fact she doesn't. Even my other friends has said she has been acting 'b*tchy'.

For a while now I have been suffering from some personal issues which over the last few months have got worse. Today I decided to get some counselling. My other friend was proud of me for getting help but my "friend" decided she needs some too and kept mentioning it. I thought I would try and make ''conversation'' and I asked her what was bothering her. She snapped it was none of my business which is rather rich because she is always asking me really personal questions.

We used to have another friend but she has moved away. Before it was four of us and we all got on fine but now it is only three (and you know what they say about threes...). I will admit that my friend and I are probably closer to each other than we are to her but she has other friends she talks to.

I don't think she likes me at all as she seems to want to go out with my friend deliberately when I can't come. She also says she's poor (like she wants my friend and I to feel sorry for her). I would like to remind her that her Mother could get a job (as she has no small children) and that her benefit money is a lot more than some other people receive.

I really don't want to be friends with her but I worry that if I break off our friendship my other friend will be angry. Sorry to rant but I really don't know what to do? What should I do?

Any advice would be very much appreciated,

Cassie xxx

[Blundt Cake]

Live your life and surround yourself with people who love and support you.
If neither of these friends are capable of that, move on.

[tinymoney091]

People who behave like this tend to irritate those around them. If you were to voice your opinion - diplomatically and tell her that she isn't fooling anyone with her transparent, attention seeking mannerisms - then I think you'll find that people will admire and respect you for it. Whatever you do though - don't go fishing before you do so - and what I mean by that is, don't go talking to the other girls in the group about how they feel about her..... because if you do - people will always always backstab, and you don't want a reputation as a stirrer. Just stick to your guns, tell this girl that you'd prefer it if she stayed out of your way, because in all honesty - you do not like her. And being false is so not the way forward. I'm positive the others will stick by you - and hey, even if they don't.... what's the biggy? You seem to have your head well and truly screwed on - so finding good, wholesome people to get involved with won't be a problem for you. You'll learn in time that life is far too short to be worn and dragged down by airy fairy attention seeking idiots... which is precisely what this girl is.

[lady_arndt]

You need to take control of your life girl. If something is toxic to your health... cigarettes, alcohol, same thing goes for bad relationships. You need to remove these things from your life. Your true friends will understand. Think of yourself and what is best for you. That being said, you need to be classy about it. If you mostly communicate through social media, you can just delete her as a friend and/or block her. She may get catty and want an explanation, where you can simply reply that you don't appreciate her attitude. Leave it at that. Don't continue with long-winded responses or posting annoying, overly dramatic things to facebook. Be the bigger person. There is nothing wrong with you not being friends with someone who is bad for you.

I have deleted/blocked a couple of people through Facebook and have not had contact with them for the same reason. I don't know how they took it, but they never tried contacting me, so perhaps it was a mutual agreement. Everyone just needs to remember to act like adults. Sometimes we need to be adults for the other person involved.