How should I handle things between my ex and I?

[Smartass Italian]

My ex and I broke up back around June. She made the decision. Things got to be too hectic, my jealousy was out of control, she was being too distant and insensitive to my feelings and things slowly fell apart. We tried the friend route for a while and she said we would work on getting back together, as she said "I was the one for her, she just needed time to be single for a while" which was lousy. For 2 months this went on, her being still flirty with me and me feeling lead on. I felt like I was pushed to the back burner and I was to just wait for her to be ready to be with me again while she was having her fun being single and having guys flirt with her, so it seemed. I got tired of this and after a bottle of alcohol (which is terrible considering I do not even drink) I vented my problems to 2 mutual friends. Unfortunately the one had a major crush on her and was on the mentally ill side. He was a snake and went back and told her whatever, surely lies mixed with some truth and got her to block me from everything, from facebook to twitter and all forms of communication and she ended up being with him. This went on for 2 months, off and on and she and him broke up weekly, it seemed. She was obviously never happy with this guy and finally they broke up for good after those 2 months of a completely loveless meaningless relationship. I felt betrayed and things got ridiculous. Immature friends started to say things, caused a big fight between her and I. That typical "he said, she said" crap. Lines were seemingly drawn and things just got way out of hand. To make matters not only worse but more ridiculous, a few enemies I have made in the past due to religious differences decided to become friends with her and got inside her head and told her tons of lies and rumors about me to keep her hating me. This went on for 3 months or so and then silence.

I checked my inbox on Facebook a few weeks ago and saw a message, from her. She had unblocked me and apologized for everything. She really went all out with this apology, stating how she was immature, selfish, inconsiderate of my feelings, everything that I had addressed then and then some. I felt pretty bad and unfortunately for me I still had feelings for her and had no moved on emotionally. I forgave her after a few days of thinking about it and told her I forgave her. She then said that the past is the past and we need to move forward. I am unsure to what extent what she means by that but she says it a lot. If anything is brought up by anyone that happened, She will say "its in the past now" and ignore it and change the subject. Me and her have been talking nearly everyday now, she invents reasons to message me which is one thing she always had a problem with doing before. She is really friendly on messengers, putting smiley faces at the end of every sentence, like she genuinely is happy to talk to me. She has even said so, that she is happy to talk to me again and is happy I am back in her life. Things are actually really great. But that is where I start to wonder. What exactly is her intentions? Is she trying to just be friends or does she want to work things out to the fullest extent and be in a relationship again? I am pretty sure she knows how I feel as I am very emotional towards her but not TOO emotional. I won't come out and ask her questions about relationship matters again, as last time I did not get answers I liked and it frustrated me. I am being patient, fun and loving, everything she wanted in me before and she seems to really enjoy our time spent together. But my personal emotional feelings are building and I feel myself falling in love with her again, more and more daily. What should I do? I am afraid to ask her how she feels and fearing rejection and making things awkward between us. But at the same time can't help how I feel. She said back during the fighting on her wall that supposedly someone said we should get back together and she put she would never take me back. Not sure if she said that just to say it, being I doubt anyone told her to get back with me or said it because she knew it would get back to me and upset me. She is totally different now, much better, much more open and honest and things are really great now. But I have no idea how she feels about me. I would love to work things out but I am not sure if she wants to or not. How can I find out how she feels without even asking and how does it seems she feels towards me?

[Sue C]

I would say it is worth taking a chance with her again. To me she seems to be showing a "turn around" from how she originally was in the very beginning. Isn't it worth a try at least?! Why don't the two of you get together, have a serious talk & see just what the outcome of it is. You certainly know her well enuf to know if she's being honest or not. You love her, it sure sounds as tho she's gotten things together on her end, I'd say it's sure worth at least meeting with her in person & talking things out...all the best to you...