I've found guy I want to spend my life with, but can't stand his family!?

[vinca]

I've found a guy I want to spend my life with, but can't stand his family?
I'm in a long term relationship with a guy for 4 years now. He's a wonderful guy most of the time. He doesn't do drug, smoke, drink, and he never loses his temper ever. He always keeps himself together. But I can't stand his family, specially his conceited sister. His parents have serious financial debt with a lot of people including my family that his brother and his sister had to cancel their wedding and ended their relationships with their partners who his parents borrowed money too. His brother and he had to help out with the debt, working their as* off to pay bills and the debt but his sister lives a life that's the opposite of theirs although the three of them (he, bro, and sis) live in the same house that they rent. He and his bro just started a business and business isn't really that good while his sister only stays in her fully air-conditioned bedroom where she only plays with her blackberry all day (her boyfriend pays all of these for her). She acts and feels like she's a celebrity and everybody needs to know what she's up to every minute in order to survive living! I'm not making this up. Although she's older than me, she will sabotage the computer the whole night just because she wants to upload photos to her facebook and reply to every new comments she receives... she will also interrupt when we're arguing to ask him to correct her grammar so she can update her status on facebook and twitter. She also feels the need to talk in a really loud voice and walk in heavy steps everywhere she goes so that people will pause what they do so they will turn around to watch her. When she appears or says something, it makes me want to jump and choke her to death. She's the worst. She doesn't try to get a job because her boyfriend pays her for everything. It's been 2 years, my mom's firm is closing due to the bad economy. My family has to quit our gym membership etc while her sister goes to a well-known overpaid gymplace. They're not able to pay my mom back, now my youngest sister isn't able to go to college. I can't help with that much money either to pay her through college because I have my own financial situation. I know it's not up to me how her bf wants to spend his money on, but.. I find it really hard to be a "bigger person" here to understand. It's just not fair how things are, my family is the one they owe money to but his sister lives a better life than ours. The first few year after their family borrowed money from my mom and started avoiding her calls, my mom realized they couldn't pay her in a week like they promised her.. she started to get really sick and stressed out that she had to be hospitalized for a week. This happened twice. I just feel so nauseated with his family that sometimes I feel I don't want to go on anymore.

I guess what I wanted to say is.. I've found a great guy I'd like to spend my life with despite his family's huge debt.. I can't stand his family to the point I don't want them in my life.. And I know it's an impossible thing to wish for, hoping they won't be in our lives anymore in the future because if we get married and everything, I'll have to go to their place for family gatherings etc. I know it's inevitable and it's not fair to ask him to exclude his family from our lives. I'm so confused... I know many people will tell me that I can always find another guy.. But it's not really the case. He's a really great guy... He would come to my mom's place once in awhile to accompany her on weekend while my sisters are out. My family and I know that he's a really wonderful person. But his family has been mistreating my family in many ways and it hurts so bad with they way they treat us, while all we did was lending them money when they needed it. In a way, his family is really bad for our mental health. We no longer have a tiny bit respect for them and it's hard for me to think of way to face his family without wanting to b*tchslap them (specially his sister) with everything they've done to me and my family.

What would you do if you were me.. what if you've found a really great guy you want to spend your life with but has a family you can't seriously stand..?

Good advices will be much appreciated.

[Andrew]

stop writing so god damn much

[whitetiger731421]

suck it up you cant pick your family.

[Alex]

move away....

[Justin Hollywood]

Too much to read, but based on the question: when you marry a guy you marry his family too. You gotta find a way to work it out with them or risk losing him.

[Liz]

You know what you gotta do?? Don't put up with that shit girl! You deserve respect n don't settle for anything less. You can still marry this guy, just tell him what you are not willing to put up with before you get married, and stick to your guns. You are in charge of what you will endure, if you put your foot down they will realize you will not stand for it and will stop in time. You will have to train his family in a sense haha. But you will be fine. Just follow your heart and be confident, and don't let anyone talk down to u or mistreat you