Any advice on my situation / how to get over him? I'd honestly appreciate any help?

[brooklyn]

There's this guy that I met last February and we hit it off straight away. Long story short we were extremely close, liked each other for a while but he got over me while i unfortunately fell in love with him. He never treated me right, ALWAYS making empty promises, he's hurt me more than I can even put into words.

As I said, he got over me, and he now likes this other girl. He always tells me he wants to see me soon but that he's just really busy (he has two jobs, starting uni, etc) but on social networking (instagram) I always see that on a weekly basis he's meeting up with that girl he likes. She's his personal trainer as well so that's his reason for why he has time to meet up with her and not me, but he's constantly saying how busy he is but he always manages to find time to go out for a drink with her after training etc.

I know I need to let go and move on but I'm just finding it really hard to accept that the person I thought I'd always have by my side / would always be with, just moved on so quickly. I don't have many friends and so I don't have anyone to 'move on' to. I'm just really hurt and struggling to be happy and move on, because as I said, I really did love him.

It just hurts so much and I'm having a really, really hard time letting to. I was wondering if there was any advice you can give me about my situation / how to move on? I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and possibly answering.
Thank you so much, have a nice day xx

[Sam.]

You sound like a REALLY sweet girl.

I've been in a similar situation. I was SO in love and infatuated with someone about 6 years ago. I would have given him EVERYTHING. But he hurt me over and over and over again and I let him. I kept coming back to him because I wanted so badly to hope that things could change. But you can't go off of what you hope and want. You have to also make decisions based on the past. What you have already experienced with this person is likely to be similar to what you will experience with this person if you keep pursuing him. If he's hurt you more than you can even put into words, that's what your future likely holds if you try to be with him.

As for moving on, try to find a group of girls. Or even just ONE girl. Or try to be by yourself. It's SO hard, I know. I'm terrible at it. But have a little experiment with yourself. Try to really get to know yourself. Take yourself out on dates. Make time for yourself. Buy things for yourself. See what kinds of things YOU like. Even if you think you already know that, there's always more to be learned!

God, I relate to this SO much....

Have you ever read the book or seen the movie "Eat, Pray, Love"? There is a quote in that book that really helps me when I feel like I need to move on from someone or from relationships in general. This is it:

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

I don't know if you necessarily relate to the last line. But those first few sentences are exactly how I feel about moving on from someone. There is SO much to discover about just being alone.

Good Luck! xxx