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- Sheldon - 11-09-2012 04:54 PM
As a therapist I get this type of question all the time. The answer is that is really depends. Research does show that a child with two parents has increase odds of adjusting well in life. However, some children with two parents do not do well, and some children with one parent do great. If your friends ask, I would suggest that they look at their situation and then do all they can. Maybe they can use big brother programs, or relatives to fill a perceived void in the child's life. Just know that just because they do not have a father does not ensure the child will have a rough life; however, having a father does not ensure the child will have a great life. All we can do is the best we can. A lot parents ask me about discipline. I attach a website that I recommend for pre-teen discipline. Good luck.
- Mrs. Arwood - 11-09-2012 04:54 PM
Well to address your question properly, I need to bring us to the same page in life. Something most people don't understand, is it's not about single parent vs. two parent home. It's about being emotionally healthy. If a child is growing up in a 2 parent home that is not stable, the child will grow up emotionally unhealthy, and thus tend to have emotionally unhealthy relationships in life. We as parents or as a single parent sometimes have to take the necessary steps to teach our children what is emotionally healthy in a relationship. A 2 parent home that is healthy can teach and keep a child in a happy and healthy environment, as that child grows up they will be well rounded, social, outgoing, and will CHOOSE to stay away from unhealthy emotional relationships, because they know how they like to be treated and they will find/seek someone who is a best friend to them, not someone who will be hurtful to them, or unstable for them. A child can learn this in a one parent home as well, but will also have a more difficult time learning how to go about a relationship, because it was not taught to them first hand in a single parent home. This is not a major issue, because most people tend to learn from their mistakes and are willing to continue to try again and correct their previous mistakes, and as a result a single parent home child can have a healthy relationship.
What is a mistake is for parents who remain together even through an unhealthy relationship. These parents are only teaching their children that it is ok to let a man or woman treat them in a bad manner. It teaches children that this is healthy and normal and is not a problem. When in fact it is an issue. When parents do not respect one another, children will learn this unhealthy behavior and enter into a relationship where either they are the aggressor or their partner is the aggressor against them, they will see this as ok, because that is the type of environment they have grown up into.
Remember, children are constantly learning through observation. It's up to us parents to teach our children right from wrong. If our children do something wrong, and no one is there to tell the child they are doing something wrong, how are they supposed to know that it is wrong? They don't. That's why it is important for some parents to break up, because they are setting an example for their child to learn that it is not ok to be disrespected, treated unfairly, be hurtful to one another, etc., and if someone is doing this to them, than it is unhealthy and they need to back away from the situation, re-evaluate it, and figure out the best decision, and sometimes that decision can be found through counseling, while other times that decision is to part ways.
- faithfulzebra814 - 11-09-2012 04:54 PM
Absolutely not, that's just ignorance to say that they have anything to do with each other.
So no, you're wrong.
- J - 11-09-2012 04:54 PM
Since some of you have already shared your personal experiences, i just want to add that not everything about single parenting is bad. there are some upsides and focusing on the advantages (not being sarcastic here) might be a healthier outlook on things. Here's an interesting read you might be interested.
- hhbb4 - 11-09-2012 04:54 PM
Jeny-
I am an "only" parent of a 15 yr old teenage boy and he is VERY well adjusted and I get compliments about him all the time.
I disagree with the statistics...although that is what they are....studies. Not sure of the demographic they use to determine those statistics.
I have been a single Mom since conception....the father left me when I was 3 months pregnant and he then remarried someone 3 months prior to my son being born. He tried visiting about 4 times when my son was 3...and then absolutely NOTHING since. So, no father in my son's life at all - not even a birthday card - plus doesn't even acknowledge he has him. Sad, yes.
However, I am a stable, consistent parent. I mean what I say and say what I mean - and am honest about the whole situation and with my son. I'm there for him when he needs it. My motto is: "I am raising a man not taking care of a little boy." Therefore, he is taught responsibilities.
There may be some kids that do have a hard time....depends on the parent and living situation.
But I know several kids that come from two-parent homes that are not that well adjusted.
Bottom line answer - like most answers on here: depends