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+--- Thread: when you have a baby do you lose your identity? (/thread-38946.html)
Pages: 1 2
- Ivy - 11-09-2012 10:18 PM
Being a parent is a permanent part of your life (barring the death of your child). So yes, it's a HUGE part of your identity. I don't think your life should "revolve" around your children though. You still need to have dates with your spouse, girl time with your friends, and do things you enjoy. Having a baby is a HUGE load of work and stress, but mothers need a break, too. If they put pictures up on FB and MS, it's because they love their kids and they're proud of them. In fact, my 43 year old mother just got a FaceBook account lol. And guess what-- there are pictures of my brother and me on her page.
But it does make me sad to see mothers who never do anything for themselves, who give up on their marriages, and who don't even brush their teeth or shower because they think every second of every day MUST revolve around their children. I wish they realized that their child will be fine taking a nap w/o the mother there... That her child won't "miss" her or have emotional scars if she takes 30 minutes to take a shower & shave her legs...
Cherry Limeaid-- I think you're talking about my SIL! lol. She's exactly like that to the point that she treats her kids like two little burdens on her fun.
- Annoyingcrayon059 - 11-09-2012 10:18 PM
I gained a new identity.
Just do whatever you want. If you want to have photos on your Facebook, great. If not? Great. Who cares? Having photos of your kids on Facebook doesn't define you as a person.
I have more photos of my kids on my Facebook than of myself because I'm very proud to be a mom and I'm proud of my kids.
- frogysue - 11-09-2012 10:18 PM
You can, for sure....but what annoys me sometimes is how many people fail to see that. I mean, its hard to have independence when _I'm_ not the one brinign up my baby all the time, my friends are. People ask me to put pics of her up, etc etc. I want to still be my own person too, but a lot of times all people see now is the mommy...even when I am not in "mommy mode". I know they are trying to be nice and show they are still interested in me, even though they don't have kids, but its really frustrating too. While I do have to sacrafice a lot of my old activies for her, and try to put her first, I AM still here...and I can still do some things I enjoy w/ her along, and even w/o her along, and I don't need to be talking about her the whole time I am doing them necessarily. Lol, sorry to rant, just came up a little while ago here....