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+--- Thread: Is it wrong for birth parents to track down kids they gave off for adoption on Facebook? (/thread-29117.html)
Is it wrong for birth parents to track down kids they gave off for adoption on Facebook? - Lover - 11-09-2012 01:25 PM
When people have kids and give them away for adoption, do you think it is right or wrong for these people to later down the line contact the child they gave birth to through Facebook, i.e. by sending them friend requests and messages introducing who they are? Because I've heard of some teenagers one day randomly logging onto Facebook and suddenly seeing the shock of their lives seeing their birth mother sending them a message and saying who they are, etc.
- Hemal - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
if it was an open adaption no.
but if it wasn`t then yes it is because they gave up the rights to the child. the child will find you if they want to
- H****** - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
Not at all.
I wish facebook had been invented when I was growing up in the dark wondering who I was and where I came from - I dreamed of my mother showing up
Besides, kids are not allowed facebook, I believe you have to be 13 or older.
- Vanessa Numero Uno - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
Well, if the adoptive parents would have kept up with their end of the bargain (in many cases of bogus open adoptions), someone's mother contacting them in any capacity when they are of age would not be so much of a "shock of their lives". Since so many adopters make off with the children the covet and pretend the biological relatives don't exist, sure, it may be shocking but they are not to blame for this. The people who hoarded them all to themselves are.
I have heard of many adoptive families getting all bent out of shape when someone's mother "finds" them. This is called "modern technology" and I think it is great people can find lost relatives. I am sure adopters didn't have this in mind all those years ago when they were scurrying off with the infant of another woman, but tough doggie doo...
For those of you who conned a mother of her infant, cut her out of the picture then get your panties in a bunch when she finds her child, too damn bad if you don't like it. I for one, don't give a shit. That's what you get for being selfish, greedy, entitled dirt bags...
- melodicfather953 - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
Only if there is a no contact court order.
No way should a child be yakking with a potential serial killer claiming to be a birth parent. Not saying birth parents are serial killers, but kids have been killed this way. Birth parents should use other ways to contact a child. Legal and less dangerous ways for the child. The birth parents should contact the parents of the child.
Now if these are adults, I don't friending anyone unless you know them in real life. Seriously.
Edit. Namecalling is uncalled for. Not all birth parents are sane people. My cousin put her son in danger, so everything got closed.
- frockney - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
No it's not wrong.
Any body can send a friend request and anybody can turn the request down. Why on earth should that be wrong?
- Mikayla - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
I would be so fucking pissed if my childs birth parent did that. It is up to the child if they want contact or not. The birth parent lost that choice and it's up to the kid to make the choice now. If they want contact they will make it happen. Especially if the child is younger. It's one thing if they are 18 but a birth parent has no bushiness contacting a younger child.
Being adopted I can't even tell you big of an impact this would have had if my mom had pulled this shit. I would have been thrilled but looking back on it from a more mature and adjusted place it would have been a disaster.
- Philippa - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
No it isn't and I wish Facebook had been around years as my son would have found me a lot easier and quicker. Anyway what makes you assume that adopted children / adults don't want to find their parents? You obviously have missed all the questions here posted by adoptees who do want to find their parents. Incidently it is legal in the UK for family members to search for adopted family members once they turn 18 anyway.
I actually found my son through Genes Reunited without actively searching and he was searching for me *shock, horror*
Any adoptee who doesn't want contact simply tells their parent(s) that.
@Hemal ~ what has a closed adoption got to do with it? Adoption is adoption whether it's open or closed.
- Theodoor W - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
No, nothing wrong about that. Always nice to be able to get an update of your medical family history, and the rest may be or may not be.
- Mrs - 11-09-2012 01:33 PM
Only if the kid is a minor.
I don't think sending a friend request on Facebook is that different from sending a normal letter. There is time to read and think and feel what they want and answer. It's not like she's outside his door going "SURPRISE"!