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Checking teens texts- OK or NOT? - itsaponay - 11-09-2012 08:40 PM
I am wondering what people think about checking a teens text messages.
My mother likes to check my text messages but it really bugs me because we are not very close (we never have been) and I really don’t like her getting into my personal life! I’m a good student, always getting A’s and B’s and I don’t really go to parties and I certainly don’t do drugs, so I find it really aggravating when my mother checks my texts! I have never done anything to tempt her to check them either! Its not that I have anything to hide, its just...well, MY life. Its gotten to the point where I don’t ever text my friends expect to find out what the homework is or to hang out.
My mother also stalks my Facebook. I’m fine with her being friends with me and checking up on me every once in a while, but she has programmed it so every time I write one comment or post one thing, she gets a notification. Again, I have nothing to hide, she just feels it necessary and it makes me so upset! Do you think this is reasonable?
Also, I have brought this up to my parents before. I have asked if its because they don’t trust me, and they say “No, no honey!†so then I ask then WHAT but they never actually give me and answer.
I feel so INVADED when they go through my life! It makes me so depressed
- Juliet - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
Yes it is ok, when you are 18, she would not do such a thing
- Chinaman - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
Well when you live in your own house, and own your own things then you'll have the right to privacy.
- Isaiah - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
silly... parents are silly... but i can't help you on ur texting issues but. on facebook make a male account with bogas info and talk from there... assuming you are a girl
- Kaylin Bjornn - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
I wouldn't think it's reasonable, that she doesn't trust you. Parents would probably say different. My mom does it constantly because she "bought the phone" (Not true btw) :-) But my mom is convinced I will do something wrong if she's not nosy.
- TangGuo - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
I mean her checking means she at least cares. The only upside to this. Parents that do this to their children it's extremely wrong ;unless it involves suicide or something incredibly illegal and threatening.I would never do this to my child because if I raised them correctly I wouldn't need to be worried. My parents would sometimes look over my shoulders when AOL instant messenger was still popular back like 5 years ago. It used to bug me because they would read aloud "who is sexyybabe89000" or something and I'm like "Oh it's just a 40 year old man who wants to meet up wanna drive?" just to annoy them. Trust is something that needs to be earned but also respected. I say you should arrange a friend to send a questionable text to your phone and just freak her out where she wouldn't want to see your texts anymore. Have your friend be like "Is your mom still checking on your texts? That's so wrong. I would be so angry that my mom wouldn't have trust in me" and plant it in her direction and see if she continues this. The she will know how dissapointed you are in her childish behavior. An adult would convey their fears or suspicions with you; not sneak things behind your back. It's just not right. If not I would have a talk about this. if she uses the "I'm the parent I own you" kinda speech then that's wrong too. You need to make your own mistakes as a human to learn from them. It's just kinda a turn off as well when your parents don't trust you; just makes the relationship gap so much bigger. Another thing is if your mother is stalking your facebook you can friend her but in the status bar; change your setting to custom and type her name in so she cannot get any of your status updates. Also change your settings to her not being able to see anything at all. Then she can't stalk or complain and you have your privacy again.
- anonymous - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
i think it's fine for her to check your facebook, since it's a public profile and anyone on the internet/your friends list can see what you post so its not private. but i dont think she should be reading your texts, just because i think its more personal, and if she wants to build trust in your relationship with her, she needs to trust that you will tell her important things, and that she doesn't need to search for things you hide from her. like what i mean is that in order for you to trust her, and have a good relationship with her, than she needs to be able to trust you.
- SMLYON - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
If my child did anything to betray my trust I would stalk the sh*t out of him/her but other than that probably leave them be.
- flatmoney448 - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
They are doing their job. That is what i think about it.
You are still a teen, and teens, ALL teens, are prone to making mistakes.
If I were you I'd just put up with it. If you fight against it they'll just think you're trying to hide things. I am sure you're smart enough to delete texts if you need to. OR start a group on FB that only includes your friends, so that you can post to just your friends.
- Jojo - 11-09-2012 08:48 PM
Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Im 14, and my parents think im some sort of heroine, gangbanging, crazy guy. Even though im not. Parents are soooo annoying. In my opinon, I HATE it when they do it. Which is why I have the amazing technique of putting a lock on my phone and erasing the messages in case the lock fails. I mean, I have nothing to hide, but seriously, its my phone. MINE. If only they realized how annoyingly nosy they could be.