Checking teens texts- OK or NOT?

[itsaponay]

I am wondering what people think about checking a teens text messages.

My mother likes to check my text messages but it really bugs me because we are not very close (we never have been) and I really don’t like her getting into my personal life! I’m a good student, always getting A’s and B’s and I don’t really go to parties and I certainly don’t do drugs, so I find it really aggravating when my mother checks my texts! I have never done anything to tempt her to check them either! Its not that I have anything to hide, its just...well, MY life. Its gotten to the point where I don’t ever text my friends expect to find out what the homework is or to hang out.

My mother also stalks my Facebook. I’m fine with her being friends with me and checking up on me every once in a while, but she has programmed it so every time I write one comment or post one thing, she gets a notification. Again, I have nothing to hide, she just feels it necessary and it makes me so upset! Do you think this is reasonable?
Also, I have brought this up to my parents before. I have asked if its because they don’t trust me, and they say “No, no honey!” so then I ask then WHAT but they never actually give me and answer.

I feel so INVADED when they go through my life! It makes me so depressed

[Juliet]

Yes it is ok, when you are 18, she would not do such a thing

[Chinaman]

Well when you live in your own house, and own your own things then you'll have the right to privacy.

[Isaiah]

silly... parents are silly... but i can't help you on ur texting issues but. on facebook make a male account with bogas info and talk from there... assuming you are a girl

[anonymous]

i think it's fine for her to check your facebook, since it's a public profile and anyone on the internet/your friends list can see what you post so its not private. but i dont think she should be reading your texts, just because i think its more personal, and if she wants to build trust in your relationship with her, she needs to trust that you will tell her important things, and that she doesn't need to search for things you hide from her. like what i mean is that in order for you to trust her, and have a good relationship with her, than she needs to be able to trust you.

[SMLYON]

If my child did anything to betray my trust I would stalk the sh*t out of him/her but other than that probably leave them be.

[Jojo]

Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Im 14, and my parents think im some sort of heroine, gangbanging, crazy guy. Even though im not. Parents are soooo annoying. In my opinon, I HATE it when they do it. Which is why I have the amazing technique of putting a lock on my phone and erasing the messages in case the lock fails. I mean, I have nothing to hide, but seriously, its my phone. MINE. If only they realized how annoyingly nosy they could be.

[Spike X]

Every human being has a basic right to privacy. It doesn't matter whose goddamn house they're living in. It's not necessary for parents to snoop on their kids unless they have a specific reason to think they're in some kind of immediate danger. "Living in the world" does not qualify.

I wouldn't go around eavesdropping on my kids' private conversations. This is basically the same thing.

[Y]

A parent that checks and can see and reacts to a potential issues while pissing off the child. Is much happier then the parent being woken up at 2:00 in the morning by the police. Telling them their child is dead.

[shanon]

Why don't you ask your mom why she does it. Ask her if she doesn't trust you and if there is anything you can do to make her feel more comfortable. Explain that it makes you sad (don't say annoyed) when she does this because it make you feel a certain way (whatever that may be). Remind her of all you accomplishments and compare that to other kids you may know that are not so good (into drugs, etc.). Your mom has the right to do what she wants, but i know she is pushing you away by doing these things. Just remember she loves you and wants to protect you. She will feel that way for the rest of your life and you will understand whenever you decide to have children. I hope this helps!! Good day!