My husband left me for another woman and she seems to want to be friendly with my daughter? Is that right?

[Shriekingcemetery594]

I know it is hard seeing him just move on...it borders on the ridiculous, but you shouldn't confront the other woman for one reason, it will look to your husband like you are in a cat fight with his new girl and he will get at least a little pleasure out of the thought that two women are fighting over him, when in fact it has NOTHING to do with that. But, you know men are just that way.

If it were me I would talk to your ex, find out if this girl is here to stay. Make it clear that you understand that he has moved on, but that now you are separated there are new rules to protect your daughter. And the number one rule of ALL divorced parents must be "Be careful and observant on how your adult relationships will affect your child." If he has a new girl every 6 months that will be unfair to the daughter. As the non-custodial parent he has to be mindful that he should only be introducing women to his daughter that he is in a serious relationship with.

If that is the case, and he is in a serious relationship then he has to have a talk with the daughter about how him and mommy aren't together any more and woman X is daddy's new girlfriend, and he would like them to all try and get along.

Speaking as a woman who married a man that has had a child with another woman, be very careful with how you treat and what you say about woman x. My husband was not with this woman when we met, they had already broken up, so there was none of that drama, but after 3 years of marriage and 5 years of me in her sons life you would think she would refer to me by my name, and not "Your father's wife." I know that my step son loves me, and he finds it very hard to be around his mom and me at baseball games or school functions because he is scared of how his mother will react if he gives me a hug, or does anything to let her know that he likes me. That is no position for a child to be in.

On the reverse side, would you rather your ex be living with a woman who wants nothing to do with your daughter? That treats your daughter like a piece of furniture that is there every other weekend? I would hope your ex would have more common sense than to live with a woman who would treat your daughter like that.

So, basically you have two choices. Hate her and do everything you can to stop her from having contact with your daughter, which could wind up making your daughter very confused and possibly make your relationship with her strained. Or, talk to your ex about boundaries and what you think is appropriate, and what isn't. Hopefully you two can work together to have this situation not impact your daughter in a highly negative way.