What all does child support money go to?

[gary b]

It goes to whatever SHE decides it goes to.

That IS unfortunate, but most states DO NOT allow "accountabiluity" for your child support. So, you send it to her, and she spends it as she sees fit.

But understand that to "support" your children they ALSO need a place to live, so rent is one thing you are paying for. Your children need electricity, water, maybe natural gas, telephone, and maybe (is this really a"need"? ) cable TV and internet. Your payments ALSO go for that, too. They need transportation, so figure you are paying for car payments and gasoline. ALL of these are NECESSARY for HER to take care of your children.

School fees, music lessons, sports, deductibles on doctor appointments, movie tickets, haricuts, glasses, braces. ALL the same stuff you would spend it on if you were still living together. Just because YOU TWO can't get along doesn't mean that your KIDS have to suffer a reduction in "quality of life".

[In most cases, your employer-supplied insurance MUST accept non-custodial children, ESPECIALLY if your Custody Arrangement specifically calls for it. Don't let THEM BS you! Check with a lawyer if need be.]

Note, though, that if you are following the letter of the law, then you DO NOT have to buy the kids clothes and toys. Bad, selfish idea. But you DO NOT have to send them home with the kids! Keep that stuff at YOUR PLACE! When you replace some clothes or a toy, THEN send the old one home to her. [Send her picture of the kids in new clothes and playing with new toys if you want. Pisses her off! "I AM buying new things -- and they stay at my place."]

There is NO "official list" of what Child Support is SUPPOSED to cover, but if you could PROVE she is spending it on alcohol, drugs, or her own personal entertainment, you WOULD have a legal case. Proving that will be VERY hard (like, impossible) and VERY expensive (like, a private detective who might find nothing at all). Best to just leave it alone.

Best to just do the best you can, and leave well enough alone to avoid the inevitiable fight that will hurt your children.