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Am I "messed up" enough to have to go to a treatment center?
01-17-2013, 04:01 PM
Post: #1
Am I "messed up" enough to have to go to a treatment center?
I'm 16. I honestly don't know how I am ever going to get better from any of this while still living in my hell of a day-to-day life. I am bullied at school, over twitter, over facebook. Everyone thinks I'm a freak because of my various 'problems". And I have major trust issues because of all of this. I can't go on like this any longer without professional help, I have come to realize. I can't do this alone anymore. Anyways, here's a list of all my "problems".

-Bulimia (about two years)
-Severe OCD (it's basically ruining my life)
-Dermatillomania (part of the OCD; my thumbs are basically ruined)
-Self mutilation (cutting, not burning)
-Depression (nothing makes me happy anymore, I see no reason for living)
-Two almost-suicude attempts, one actual attempt (about to hang myself twice, tried to overdose once but wasn't nearly enough)
-Anxiety (again with the always worrying someone is out to get me)
-Borderline personality disorder (moderate, but it basically sucks)

The dermatillomania is the only one that has actually been diagnosed: I've been told that I am borderline but they can't technically diagnose it until you're 18. I obviously know that I have bulimia but no one else knows. The OCD is pretty much a given, my doctor just won't diagnose me based on one of the criteria, but it's very bad.

What I'm trying to say is, I can't live like this any longer. I'm going to end up killing myself, I know it. I need to get hemp, but I don't think the whole see-a-therapist-once-a-week thing is going to be enough. These feelings get so strong and I am suddenly not even in control of what I do. I'll binge/purge, cut, binge/purge again, repeat. One day it's all going to be too much and I'll attempt again. I literally scare myself. I can't be alone while I get help, I know that much. As much as it scares me, I need to be watched over 24/7 while I get day-to-day help. I feel like a treatment center is what I need in order to get better. The idea scares me sh*tless but I know I can't be at home or alone anywhere while I receive the treatment I need. But am I really sick enough for a treatment center? Will they tell me I'm overreacting and refer me to some once-a-week therapist? I need to know. Thank you.

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Am I "messed up" enough to have to go to a treatment center? - Kenzie - 01-17-2013 04:01 PM
[] - Julia - 01-17-2013, 04:09 PM

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