I am looking for a way to believe in God?

[lowbat980]

If you want a real theologian, you're far more likely to find one in a church than on Y!A, home of Poes, trolls and argy-bargy. %-)

There are many liberal denominations within Christianity. I'm well out of the loop that way and have been for over a decade, but my suggestions to perhaps start with are American Baptists, Quakers, UCC (or as an old UCC friend of mine called it, Unitarians Considering Christ :-), and of course Unitarian-Universalists. UU communities vary a great deal, some are Christian, some are hard-core humanist, many are ecumenical and a few are even trinitarian. The Metropolitan Community Church is theologically conservative but socially liberal and fully accepting of gay, lesbian, bi, trans and straight members.

IME, this is the kind of conversation that is best done in person. See if you can find a liberal church in your area.