Is it worrying that a 13 year old girl has matches in her room and draws naked people?

[sallyz555]

Middle school is the toughest time for most kids - the peer pressure is excessive, the hormones are blooming, and kids try to impress each other without having the maturity to really figure out who they are themselves. Everything you've mentioned is pretty darned normal - experimenting with sexual identity, distrust of adults, swearing and lying are really par for the course but nonetheless worrisome. Unfortunately way too many very young girls will drink and become sexually active at this time. My youngest daughter had several friends who flirted with the idea of bisexuality.Most of them were just trying to be "different", especially the most vocal among them, even though it seems that claiming to be bisexual is a path to popularity more so than a way to set yourself apart these days.
There may be no evidence that she is actually drinking and it could just be a ploy to sound cool, but kids this age become very adept at lying and being sneaky, so really keep your eyes open. I wouldn't worry about the goth thing.That's often just trying on a persona for attention.Trying to regulate her whole life too much can backfire and cause her to dig in her heels.
My youngest had a hard time at that age and I did take her to counseling for awhile. It did help her to have a non-judgmental adult to talk to. Kids are doing their best to find their identity outside their parent's purview, so it might be extremely difficult to get her to open up to you.Still, you should try to talk to her about your concerns. Even if she comes off with an attitude of, "how can you possibly be so stupid mom?!" , she will know that you care and that is a very valuable thing for a kid to know.