What is Illuminati and what does it have to do with music?

[Obi Wan Knievel]

Will somebody please kill Jay Z for creating this internet buzz?

Here's the deal: The illuminati (not the ancient church group) is the super-secret ultra-paranoid hidden international government that everyone and his brother knows everything about. Their patented secret symbol is the Evil Eyeball Of Ancient Egypt, but only a select few people (a few billion at most) know that so keep it under your hat. They called themselves the New World Order for a long time, but they gave that name up when it was used by professional wrestlers.

If you're wondering why they're so secretive, just look at this list of facts (every 'truther' claims these are hard, proven facts, so obviously they are).

- They're atheists, but also Jewish. And Catholic. And Satanists, and they're Freemasons, and they're into black magic. So they're Jewish-Catholic-Satanist-magical atheists.

- They're stinking greedy capitalists who believe strongly in radical socialist egalitarianism.

- They love using subliminal messages to brainwash the masses (because absolutely everyone listens to rap and teen-pop) in music videos. But they haven't figured out the subliminal thing yet, so they just have JayZ do the one-eye pose for five minutes and hope nobody notices.

- They've existed since at least the end of WWII (maybe longer), and they're still in the planning and conception phase of their takeover.

- Even though they're more powerful than any army on the planet, they're deathly afraid of high school kids who know about them. They also control absolutely everything, except for MTV and youtube and the internet. They don't know anything about electronic media, evidently.


Remember, those are proven facts that people know for sure. So why are they so hush-hush and top secret about their existence? You would be too if you were that inept.

Are you getting the idea that maybe they don't really exist yet? Keep digging for facts (there are thousands) if you want, there are lots of websites who claim to know the truth. Then go over your list of facts and see how many more impossible contradictions you run into.