Does it matter if my boyfriend is flirting on Facebook if he never sees her in real life?

[Tessa]

A lot of the importance of this situation should be weighted with regards to both everyone's ages/stages, and the amount of secrecy involved. If your boyfriend knows you can read his Facebook account (which he probably does) then he's not actively hiding this. If you all are young, unmarried/uncommitted people, then that also makes a huge difference. Do you live with one another as a couple? That would make this more of a deep concern and require confrontation, if only in a mild way at first. If not, then it's the vagaries of a non-transparent relationship that is often the fate of those who are dating and unsettled. The other girl is not the problem. The lack of transparency between you and your boyfriend, however, is. Speak with him, nonjudgmentally and without angst, simply ask him if he's interested in other girls/women and if he flirts with them. Under no circumstances should you start out with a confrontational manner, yelling or saying vehemently, "I saw it in your facebook page!" Just be calm and let him speak. From what he says, decide what you want to be or to happen and convey it to him, calmy and gently. If it's not clear enough for you, ask for clarification. If it's unacceptable to you, tell him so, and let him know what you thought you two had, and what you want. If he's not at the stage you need him to be, tell him good bye as a boyfriend, then decide if you want to keep him in your orbit as a friend. This situations must be clarified. Think of a mirror. Does your relationship with him look "dim" or "muddied?" Clean it up, first. At that point you can decide what shall be done.