I need to leave this house!?

[?]

I think Pearl is right.

You seriously made a mistake by using alcohol, but I'm sensing and underlying depression. Your mom needs to get help and she needs to get some psychological help from you, even if you made a mistake you still need to get treated for depression if you have it.

You could borrow makeup and hair stuff from a friend who's a girl.

Have you talked to some adult, like a guidance counselor, about your situation at home? They could have a chat with your mom.

When you say you're scared for your life, you're obviously showing signs of depression. You need help for this.

I don't think it's wrong for her to expect you to do something around the house... I clean house practically every day and I'm in grad school. My mom works a lot and lacks the time and energy to do that stuff. It's hard to pay bills and everything else.

I think your mom loves you but I think that denying you the chance to see your dad is probably a mistake. She doesn't know how to show it, or listen, and I think your whole family needs some help.